The Flight Of The Swirling Yack

WEBVTT

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Try not to claim too much Gemini, because Gemini

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chicks are c***s. What the f***, Donald? Listen,

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baby, I'm that guy. Bringing out the government

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name. The most significant thing, I think, besides

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me being born that day, you're welcome, motherf***ers.

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Dick state. She is f***ing somebody up. Oh, f***,

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she muted us. Yeah. I'm bumming. It's a good

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time to take a piss anyway, right? Yeah. She

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eats like a f***ing linebacker. To stretch the

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sauce. You got to stretch the sauce to you. If

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you want to clean shitters for a living, you

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hire professional shitters. I was going to say

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that, Sam. If you want to clean shitters, you

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hire professional shitters. Which I was. Speaking

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of big bitches. Speaking of big bitches, that's

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f***ing harder to say than what I thought it

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was. The views depicted in this podcast are not

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necessarily representative. I'm Jake Jacobs.

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This is Sammy. This is the Don. And you're listening

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to What The F***. Welcome to What The F***, the

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podcast where we say all the things you're thinking.

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But probably shouldn't. Thanks for listening.

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Thanks for tuning in to season two. You talk

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about a what the fuck moment. I sold this big

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account in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, my hometown.

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Me and a buddy of mine, we're both senior vice

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presidents of this company. In order to celebrate,

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he and I went to the Hustler Club. To Baton Rouge,

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right over by LSU. I assume it's a titty bar.

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Of course it is. And it's very clean. There's

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no smoking in there. It's a classy joint with

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classy chicks in it. And we're sitting there.

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We're having some scotch. We're both in suits.

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And this smoking hot little gal comes over and

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sits next to me. They want to get you back there

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for the $20, $40 lap dance, whatever they charge.

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And I get to talking to her. And I'm not into

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all that shit. I'm not not into it, but it's

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like that night, I just want to have a couple

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of drinks, move along. Come to find out. I'm

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friends with her dad. He and I were in high school.

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Oh, God. And I said, Bambi, whatever the fuck

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her stage name was, I said, does your dad know?

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She said, yeah, he's been in here before and

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saw me dance. I'm like, I bet that was pretty

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fucking. It's like weirdly incestuous to me.

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I like where this show's going. I watch a lot

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of different types of videos on YouTube. Like,

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I'm all over the place. But not once. Do I ever

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recall searching within YouTube's algorithm for

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porn stars or anything porn -y because YouTube

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doesn't have that kind of content. I don't think

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they have that. Nor so I thought. Well, they

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may have porn stars, but they're fully clothed.

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Yes, yes. They're just vlogging. This video popped

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up, and it was about a porn star that is from

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Don and I's era. Her name was Ginger Lynn. Hell

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yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. Now, Ginger Lynn is linked

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to Charlie Sheen and Hollywood, and she's a well

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-known name. She's retired now, but I don't know

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why this popped up on my feed, but it was an

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interview with her. She had to do four months

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in federal prison for... drug charges and something

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it was good lord but it caught my interest and

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i knew being youtube it wasn't going to be anything

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pornographic it was just an interview with her

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like what happened so i watched like half of

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it now my fucking feed is full of fucking interviews

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with fucking porn stars like because you watched

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one video man that algorithm got you yeah it

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got me so now my youtube is flooded with interviews

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with porn stars And I've watched a couple of

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them. And, you know, they're basically just talking

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about, hey, we were just trying to make a buck.

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You know? I mean, that was a living for us. Yeah.

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I mean, you've got to put yourself through college,

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baby. Some of those gals that are our age now,

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Don, they really didn't do it for that long.

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They made a couple hundred videos, made some

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quick cash, and got the fuck out. A couple hundred

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videos. Do you know how much dick that is? Yeah.

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That's a lot of cock. Yeah, Lily Phillips. Not

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as much as our girl Lily. No, Lily. God bless

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Lily. One of the segments was Lily Phillips.

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I had to check out to see what she looked like.

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I mean, she's a pretty girl. She's also British

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or Australian or something. Yes, because, you

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know, us Americans would never do such foul filth.

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Here is my what the fuck for the week, meaning

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a friend for dinner. And I got turned around

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on the interstate up there and had to go down

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two exits, turn around and come back. Well, while

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I'm turning around at a stoplight, I see this

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car at the intersection of the stoplight and

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they're turning left to come down to pass me.

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And I'm looking at this car and I'm like, there's

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something weird about their trunk because the

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trunk was like cracked open. And then I start

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looking even further. There is a hand sticking

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out of the trunk. and is holding a TV in a box.

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I'm assuming 50 -inch TV. But what I couldn't

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figure out was... They stuck someone back there

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to hold it because they didn't have ties or anything

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to keep it in the car. This was a four -door

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something or other. They must have went shopping

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at Walmart. Get a carton of eggs, get a thing

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of milk. Let's get a 55 -inch TV. Oops, oh shit,

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it won't fit in the car. Right. They literally

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laid down the trunk. to where the back seat folded

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down and had someone either lying on their back

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or lying on their stomach. I couldn't tell because

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it was too far away. But there was literally

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a person lying down in the car, holding on to

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the TV. Just cruising down the road. Truly, what

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the... That's when you go across the street to

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a Home Depot or a Lowe's and for 20 bucks rent

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a fucking truck to get it home. Yeah. And I thought

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about that when I saw it. I'm like, there's one

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way that this would work in my mind that I could

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make it seem somewhat... I mean, if they had

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taken a bungee cord and bungeed from underneath

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the car and up over and, you know, just at least

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one bungee cord. But no, whoever this person

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was. Was a human bungee cord. I don't know if

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they were on the interstate or not, but that

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would have been hard to hold on to because the

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wind hitting that box. Listen, when you find

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a smart TV at the right price, you become superhuman.

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That's how that works. So that takes me back

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to my days of working at Best Buy at home theater.

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I remember when you worked at Best Buy and I

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liked it a lot. I remember when you were the

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guitar instructor at Best Buy. Yeah. No, these

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people would come in and buy these TVs knowing

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that they didn't have a truck. They'd pull up

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in a fucking Dodge Neon and want to take a 65

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-inch plasma home. Will it fit in my car? What

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about if I take it out of the box? No, it's not

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going to fit. And you can't lay a plasma down.

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No, you can't. And then they were like, well,

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can you help us take it out of the box? Nope,

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that's not part of our job. If you want to take

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it out of the box and try to put it in your car,

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that's on you, but you're not taking it outside

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of the store. You take it out the store into

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the parking lot. Yep. And then if you damage

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it, that's on you, bitch. It's on you, baby.

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When I first started working for Best Buy, it

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was right at the end of the era of tube TVs.

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And Sony had this 34 -inch tube TV. Huge motherfucker.

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That was high def. I mean, it had a terrific

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picture on it, but it was a tube TV. Big and

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heavy as a motherfucker. Oh, my God. Every time

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someone would buy one of those, we're like, oh,

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my God, we have to get this out of the warehouse.

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It's like your back is already telling you to

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fuck off, right? But true to form, we had a guy

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pull up. In a Dodge fucking Neon. I'm not just

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picking on Dodge Neons, but I mean, he literally...

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Oh, my brother used to drive one. Between them

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and what I like to call PT losers because of

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the ugliest fucking vehicle in the face of this

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earth. You know it's the same car, right? Yeah,

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it just elongated ever so slightly. So this guy

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pulls up. At least he asked first. He's like,

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do you think it'll fit in my car? And I'm like,

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what do you have? He's like, a Dodge Neon. I'm

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like, no, it's not going to fit in your car.

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Not in your wildest dreams. I'm like, I'm positive,

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dude. You can push your passenger seat all the

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way back and lay it flat back. It's still not

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going to fit. It's not going to fit in the trunk?

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No, hell no. Hell no. So he had it in his head

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that he was going to get it out the front of

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the store and take it out of the box and fit

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it into his car. And I think he ended up going

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across the street to Home Depot to rent one of

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their trucks. $19 for the first seven minutes.

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You know, you could have done that before you

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came in and bought the motherfucker, but no,

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you had to make life more difficult. People are

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not that bright. Talked about my colonoscopy

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and that whole fiasco. Let's talk about that.

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That's scheduled for May 23rd. So now May 16th

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is my surgery on my arm, which is my dominant

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arm, right? So when they set the date for that,

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I said, is that going to cause some issues? And

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she's like, what do you mean? I'm like, well,

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surgery on my dominant arm on May 16th and my

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colonoscopy is May 23rd. And she goes, no, that

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is for your own comfort level. I'm like, that's

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not what I'm getting at. The surgery is on my

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dominant arm. There is a certain amount of preparation

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that goes into a colonoscopy. How am I going

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to wipe my ass? Exactly. And they're like, oh,

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we're going to leave that up to you. You're going

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to have to do the old switcheroonie. You're going

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to have to get a bidet. So, yeah, I'm glad you

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brought that up, Sammy. I have one. I love it.

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So while I was there, I went upstairs to the

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third floor to talk to my therapist. I said,

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Julia, you might be pleased to know that surgery

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is scheduled for May 16th. And she stopped. She

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went, you're going to need a bidet. That was

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the first word ever. That's fucking awesome.

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I'm like, I don't know if I can. I just, the

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whole thing of having. Water squirted up my ass.

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Honestly, though, it's so nice. Like, it doesn't

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go up your asshole, Jake. It's a nice, light

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cleansing. It saves you on toilet paper, for

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one. I can imagine, yeah. Because you only have

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to wipe them once just to get, like, the moisture.

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Just as a residual. Residual, yeah. So you're

00:09:10.870 --> 00:09:13.049
not pulling your pants up and then your underwear

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like super soaked. So that's kind of funny, Jay.

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So I just had a colonoscopy two days ago. Nice.

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Two days of prep. So I was prepping while at

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work. While at work. While at work. I was prepping

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while I was at work. It's like, listen, I'm selling

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motorcycles. Doing my thing. I'd be like, man,

00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:34.679
somebody's motorcycle's really good. And they'd

00:09:34.679 --> 00:09:36.419
be like, nope, that's Don up there farting his

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brains out. Well, the stuff that they gave me

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is this two -bottle thing. And so you drink one

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bottle during one day, another bottle the morning

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of. And it actually tasted lemon -limey. It was

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actually pretty good. As long as you made it

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cold. And so it's not like the old days. And

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I'm kind of driving. It's thick, though, isn't

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it? No, it wasn't bad at all. It just tasted

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a little more salty. You know, things with a

00:10:00.759 --> 00:10:03.320
lot of salt can give you the appearance of being

00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:06.639
thick. But it was fine. So I went in to, it's

00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:09.399
called Borland Groover, and it's this local place.

00:10:09.580 --> 00:10:12.259
And you were literally on a butthole assembly

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line. And I walk in there. And everybody's so

00:10:16.490 --> 00:10:19.389
nice in this place. Every one of those fucking

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nurses were smoking hot. Of course they are.

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There was Ashley. There's Amber. All their fucking

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names started with an A. Anesthesiologist. And

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do you know who wanted to look at my butthole?

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The hottest one of them all. The fucking dude.

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The only dude in there. The doctor. Dr. Warren.

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Listen, good guy. Was he at least a good -looking

00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:41.320
man? He was a good -looking guy. All right, then.

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There you go. And you know me long enough, man.

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I will find the fun in anything. He said, great

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day for a colonoscopy. I said, every day is a

00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:52.559
great day for a colonoscopy. He was like, you

00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:55.200
make an interesting point. Sign me up for a new

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Maserati. You fucking dickhead. The anesthesiologist,

00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:03.039
who was also smoking. Puts the little thing in

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there. She's like, all right, I'm going to start

00:11:04.259 --> 00:11:05.779
squirting this juice. And you turn over on your

00:11:05.779 --> 00:11:07.980
left side so the dog can see your booty hole.

00:11:08.379 --> 00:11:11.460
And I didn't give a fiddler's fuck about much

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of anything. She said, it's going to sting a

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little bit going into your veins. Spread them

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cheeks, boy. Oh, no. You don't get to do anything.

00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:21.019
No. Because once the juice goes in. So it's going

00:11:21.019 --> 00:11:24.179
into my. Top of my hand. She says, it's going

00:11:24.179 --> 00:11:26.120
to sting a little bit. I'm like, okay. So my

00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:29.179
goal was I wanted to focus kind of on how it

00:11:29.179 --> 00:11:31.639
felt, how long it took, this and that and the

00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.779
other. And it started going in. I'm talking my

00:11:33.779 --> 00:11:35.279
way through it with everybody. We're all having

00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:37.639
a big laugh. I'm like, that shit feels like somebody

00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:41.620
is running over my hand with a dump truck. She

00:11:41.620 --> 00:11:43.740
was like, yes. I said, it burns. And we're chit

00:11:43.740 --> 00:11:46.340
-chatting, laughing. I was like, all right. Oh,

00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:48.659
I said, now it's starting to fuck with my head

00:11:48.659 --> 00:11:50.200
a little bit. Everybody's laughing. I was like.

00:11:50.509 --> 00:11:53.169
But that was the first time in my whole life

00:11:53.169 --> 00:11:55.470
that I actually kind of paid attention to the

00:11:55.470 --> 00:12:00.070
anesthesia process part of it. And so I was like,

00:12:00.129 --> 00:12:01.690
okay, night, night. And that's all I remember.

00:12:01.850 --> 00:12:03.690
It was over. Oh, they fully knock you out? Oh,

00:12:03.690 --> 00:12:06.169
yeah. You're fucking done. And the next thing

00:12:06.169 --> 00:12:09.710
I know, I'm waking up. My wife's in there. I

00:12:09.710 --> 00:12:11.169
mean, the fucking doctor had already come in

00:12:11.169 --> 00:12:12.950
there. I mean, clueless. They were like, wake

00:12:12.950 --> 00:12:14.889
up. I was like, no, fuck you. I'm sleeping like

00:12:14.889 --> 00:12:18.269
a bitch. This is great. So I say that to say

00:12:18.269 --> 00:12:22.740
this. I ever commit a capital crime and I'm convicted

00:12:22.740 --> 00:12:26.100
to the death penalty. I want to go out that way.

00:12:26.179 --> 00:12:28.139
I want them to put the juice in my hand like

00:12:28.139 --> 00:12:30.519
that and just be like, okay. Ooh, it feels like

00:12:30.519 --> 00:12:32.080
somebody's running over my hand with a dump truck.

00:12:32.179 --> 00:12:33.980
Well, night, night. And then that's it. Cause

00:12:33.980 --> 00:12:36.000
you will never fucking know or care either one.

00:12:36.220 --> 00:12:39.200
You're right. Yeah. I remember everything, which

00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:40.860
was the first time, but, but I looked at it,

00:12:40.899 --> 00:12:43.659
I felt it. And I felt like I raised my head up

00:12:43.659 --> 00:12:46.519
and I was like, Oh no, that weighs a lot. And

00:12:46.519 --> 00:12:48.600
I put it back down on the pillow because I turned

00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:50.759
around to talk to the doctor who was behind me

00:12:50.759 --> 00:12:53.259
looking at my butthole while the smoking hot

00:12:53.259 --> 00:12:56.279
chicks were on this side over here. And I was

00:12:56.279 --> 00:12:58.539
just like, okay, night, night time. And that

00:12:58.539 --> 00:13:00.559
was the last thing I said. I was out. I was done.

00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:03.059
For those of you out there listening to our show,

00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:04.980
that's 14 minutes out of your life you can never

00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:07.620
get back, even if you like it. We're glad you're

00:13:07.620 --> 00:13:09.399
here. We love you. We appreciate you, especially

00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:12.019
here in season two. Scrambling to get my fucking

00:13:12.019 --> 00:13:15.019
license and car registration switched over to

00:13:15.019 --> 00:13:17.500
North Carolina finally after almost three years.

00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:21.139
Did it. However. Living in crime. I did never.

00:13:21.240 --> 00:13:24.779
I know. Got the license done, and then the next

00:13:24.779 --> 00:13:26.419
day had to go do the license plate. Well, I'm

00:13:26.419 --> 00:13:28.360
standing in line outside the license plate agency,

00:13:28.779 --> 00:13:31.259
four or five people back from the door. And all

00:13:31.259 --> 00:13:33.700
of a sudden, this woman in slow motion saw it

00:13:33.700 --> 00:13:35.360
and was like, oh, no, this is going to be real

00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:38.320
bad. She starts falling out. And I'm like, I

00:13:38.320 --> 00:13:40.340
bet you she's having a hypoglycemic situation

00:13:40.340 --> 00:13:43.559
happening. Sure as shit. So she fell out, and

00:13:43.559 --> 00:13:45.200
the guy who was standing in front of her is sitting

00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.299
there trying to help her up. Random guy in line

00:13:47.299 --> 00:13:48.980
behind her was like, I've got a water bottle

00:13:48.980 --> 00:13:50.840
in my car. Let me go get you water. Like, do

00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:53.299
you have glucose tablets? Do you have something

00:13:53.299 --> 00:13:56.080
to eat or drink or ingest to bring your sugar

00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:58.659
levels up or whatever? And so she drank the water

00:13:58.659 --> 00:14:00.399
and I think she had a granola bar or something

00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:02.279
in her purse that would help bring it up. So

00:14:02.279 --> 00:14:04.720
she drinks all that whenever she's finally standing

00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:07.750
back up. maybe two minutes later falls out again

00:14:07.750 --> 00:14:11.690
oh my god we were like oh my falls out and then

00:14:11.690 --> 00:14:13.250
they get her sitting back up and then all of

00:14:13.250 --> 00:14:15.649
a sudden she's vomits everything everywhere and

00:14:15.649 --> 00:14:17.549
i was like oh no i'm a sympathy puker i can't

00:14:17.549 --> 00:14:20.490
do this me too so the girl who i was in line

00:14:20.490 --> 00:14:22.690
with the day before who was like two people ahead

00:14:22.690 --> 00:14:26.649
of me she calls 9 -1 -1 and they get an ambulance

00:14:26.649 --> 00:14:29.429
there this woman and she's like her legs are

00:14:29.429 --> 00:14:34.659
like covered in vomit i'm like I mean, granted,

00:14:34.659 --> 00:14:37.059
it's predominantly water, but at the same time,

00:14:37.139 --> 00:14:40.019
it's like, it's still vomit. Oh, the puke water.

00:14:41.299 --> 00:14:43.320
Ambulance and them get there, and they're checking

00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:45.419
her out, and they're like, do you want to go

00:14:45.419 --> 00:14:47.139
to the hospital? She goes, no, I need to get

00:14:47.139 --> 00:14:50.220
my license plate done. I'm like, I feel that,

00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:51.519
but at the same time. She's motivated, baby.

00:14:52.019 --> 00:14:53.500
She's like, I'm fucking here. You're covered

00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:58.470
in vomit. So she got herself up. And the people

00:14:58.470 --> 00:15:00.690
that were ahead of her and everything even grabbed

00:15:00.690 --> 00:15:03.090
her a number ticket so that if she were actually

00:15:03.090 --> 00:15:04.309
going to walk in, they'd be like, here, we got

00:15:04.309 --> 00:15:06.210
you a ticket. Yeah, they were so nice. Being

00:15:06.210 --> 00:15:08.909
in the South. There is hope for the world. She

00:15:08.909 --> 00:15:13.139
came in and she freaking did. I love that. I

00:15:13.139 --> 00:15:14.899
mean, I think they helped clean her up a little

00:15:14.899 --> 00:15:16.799
bit, but that's dedication, man. I would have

00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:18.799
lost my place in line because that would have

00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:20.500
been... Jake would have been like... Nah, these

00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:23.620
people grabbed her a ticket. Fuck you. Well,

00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:25.720
the people inside the license plate agency saw

00:15:25.720 --> 00:15:28.419
this all happening too. So they were like, as

00:15:28.419 --> 00:15:30.299
soon as she came in, they were like, we'll just,

00:15:30.360 --> 00:15:32.100
we'll take you now kind of thing. And I'm going

00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:34.480
to revisit the Dave Gaddis episode. And I'm not

00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:36.039
going to talk too much about this because it

00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:38.179
is pretty disgusting, but there's a chapter in

00:15:38.179 --> 00:15:39.840
the book. If you want to go listen to it, you

00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:41.929
can hear me struggle through this. chapter the

00:15:41.929 --> 00:15:44.549
chapter is called bahama mamas and he was working

00:15:44.549 --> 00:15:47.309
with the bahamian special forces group him and

00:15:47.309 --> 00:15:49.110
some other guys went out the night before and

00:15:49.110 --> 00:15:53.110
got fucking tore up fucking shit they had to

00:15:53.110 --> 00:15:55.350
be in a helicopter the next day dave was sitting

00:15:55.350 --> 00:15:57.590
there he's like i'm gonna fucking lose it not

00:15:57.590 --> 00:16:00.629
thinking he tries to barf outside of the helo

00:16:00.629 --> 00:16:04.210
and He did, and it came right back in the cabin.

00:16:04.250 --> 00:16:05.269
I imagine that was an absolute shit show. It

00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:07.450
started spraying people, and he said literally

00:16:07.450 --> 00:16:10.429
everybody was puking at that point. He turned

00:16:10.429 --> 00:16:12.570
it into a vomit party. By the time they landed,

00:16:12.629 --> 00:16:15.750
they were about ready to kick his ass. Oh, no.

00:16:16.190 --> 00:16:18.490
But the way that he wrote it. The poor Hilo pilot

00:16:18.490 --> 00:16:21.029
who had to clean out that afterwards. You can

00:16:21.029 --> 00:16:22.690
bet your ass it wasn't the pilot that cleaned

00:16:22.690 --> 00:16:24.970
it up. Or whoever had to clean it up was probably

00:16:24.970 --> 00:16:25.830
like, what the fuck are they doing here? I had

00:16:25.830 --> 00:16:27.769
to do several takes on that chapter because it

00:16:27.769 --> 00:16:30.309
was funny, but it was disgusting at the same

00:16:30.309 --> 00:16:31.789
time in the way that he wrote it. it but yeah

00:16:31.789 --> 00:16:35.250
if you want a good laugh bahama mamas yeah when

00:16:35.250 --> 00:16:37.629
i was flying helicopters in the navy i had a

00:16:37.629 --> 00:16:40.789
little funny moment and i was in training jet

00:16:40.789 --> 00:16:43.929
engine oil is called mill l 23 699 this shit'll

00:16:43.929 --> 00:16:45.889
kill you and i licked some off the side of the

00:16:45.889 --> 00:16:48.090
airplane you know off the helicopter flying 860s

00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:51.110
and we have big doors wide open we're cruising

00:16:51.110 --> 00:16:53.309
this qualified crew chief looked at me like you're

00:16:53.309 --> 00:16:56.759
an idiot dude i'm like yeah well fuck off And

00:16:56.759 --> 00:16:59.759
we're tough guys. But we were on final. We were

00:16:59.759 --> 00:17:02.200
going to get some gas, and we were going to go

00:17:02.200 --> 00:17:03.740
to the Piedmont line. So this is how long ago

00:17:03.740 --> 00:17:06.160
it was. I had met my future ex -wife there. I

00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:08.480
had puked out the door, and I had just eaten

00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:11.759
a big ham and cheese sub. And it came, it went

00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:14.059
right out and it came right back in and it swirled.

00:17:14.059 --> 00:17:16.720
It was called Flight of the Swirling Yak. And

00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:20.740
one of the, one of our crew chiefs, Jim Gorthy.

00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:24.240
Did you say the Flight of the Swirling Yak? Flight

00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:28.140
of the Swirling Yak. And Gorthy was a crew chief,

00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:29.779
a door gunner, he'd been around for a long time.

00:17:29.940 --> 00:17:31.940
And he drew a picture. He would draw things,

00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:34.059
pencil drawings. And that fucking picture is

00:17:34.059 --> 00:17:35.640
still out there floating around somewhere. Me

00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:38.539
and Sparky puked out that fucking door. It sent

00:17:38.539 --> 00:17:40.240
puke swirling through that fucking cabin, all

00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:42.160
the way up, hit the windscreen, the whole thing,

00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:45.059
all of this fucking 860. And we landed, and we

00:17:45.059 --> 00:17:48.700
taxied up, and we shut down. And this, my future

00:17:48.700 --> 00:17:52.119
ex -wife, she shows up on a Piedmont tow tractor.

00:17:52.299 --> 00:17:54.380
And she looks in there, and she was like, oh,

00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:57.079
honey, did you get sick? I was like, yes, ma

00:17:57.079 --> 00:17:59.119
'am. She was like, I'll be back. She came back.

00:17:59.140 --> 00:18:02.700
She had Windex and a fucking roll of bounty paper

00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:05.420
towels. I was like, I'll clean it up. She was

00:18:05.420 --> 00:18:07.720
like, no, no, I got this. I was like, I think

00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:10.440
I'm in love. I'm going to marry you and divorce

00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:12.640
you later, girl. Oh, yeah, easily. Yeah, we were

00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:17.029
definitely getting divorced. We now have the

00:18:17.029 --> 00:18:19.130
title of this episode, Flight of the Swirling

00:18:19.130 --> 00:18:21.710
Yak. I was just about to say. If I find that

00:18:21.710 --> 00:18:23.170
picture, I swear I'll send it out to you guys.

00:18:23.289 --> 00:18:26.190
Oh, my gosh. That's so funny. So what Dave was

00:18:26.190 --> 00:18:28.410
saying, when you try to puke out of a helicopter,

00:18:28.730 --> 00:18:30.849
it ain't happening, y 'all. No. It's going to

00:18:30.849 --> 00:18:33.910
come right back a hundredfold. He said the Bahamian

00:18:33.910 --> 00:18:36.549
Special Forces guys were not happy by the time

00:18:36.549 --> 00:18:38.970
they landed. Oh, I'm sure. I was gagging while

00:18:38.970 --> 00:18:40.849
I was fucking narrating that part of the book,

00:18:40.910 --> 00:18:43.529
man. I did listen to that book, too. You did?

00:18:43.630 --> 00:18:46.250
a great job on it, but I'll have to go back to

00:18:46.250 --> 00:18:49.130
that chapter. Bahama Mamas, yeah. That's terrifying.

00:18:49.450 --> 00:18:51.589
Redo that chapter and see if I pull anything

00:18:51.589 --> 00:18:54.250
out of that. By the way, for those of you in

00:18:54.250 --> 00:18:55.589
What the Fuck Land, if you're not listening,

00:18:55.710 --> 00:19:00.730
Jake is a narrator. He does audiobooks, and he

00:19:00.730 --> 00:19:04.150
is the narrator. on several books out there.

00:19:04.289 --> 00:19:06.130
So if you want more of that smooth -ass voice,

00:19:06.750 --> 00:19:09.529
go look up some audibles with him. That's right,

00:19:09.609 --> 00:19:12.049
baby. The Noble Experiment. The Noble Experiment.

00:19:12.369 --> 00:19:15.309
Dave Gaddis. Dave picked Jake out of a group,

00:19:15.349 --> 00:19:18.289
and Jake did it just half -assed. I ain't even

00:19:18.289 --> 00:19:20.750
going to get this gig, and he did. And frankly,

00:19:20.970 --> 00:19:23.089
as judgmental as I can be, Jake, you did a great

00:19:23.089 --> 00:19:25.369
job on that. It's a fucking phenomenal book.

00:19:25.470 --> 00:19:28.329
Dave did a great job on that book, and yeah,

00:19:28.369 --> 00:19:32.849
it's worth listening to for sure. Thank you.