Hillbilly B****

WEBVTT

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I mean, one titty plus two, one plitty. One X

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plus two X. One titty plus two titty. Please

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put that in a blooper. Hey, speaking of three

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sheets of the wind. I got a what the f**k that's

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crazy to me. Sorry guys, I'm looking at porn

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right now. Oh, I'd hit that. Oh, whoa, whoa,

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whoa. That's skippity as f**k, yo. Skippity.

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Skippity as f**k, you're so dumb. You're like,

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it's cheating. I hate it when she's in black.

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Because sometimes I mute myself when I take my

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pants off. Thank you. I would not entire, entire,

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enter. Words are hard, man. Words are hard. In

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the words of Don, go f*** yourself. Yeah, go

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f*** yourself. Go f*** yourself. I don't know

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if this is like a wine spritzer or if it's like

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a malt beverage. Yeah, nobody gives a s***, okay,

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millennial? I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This

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is the Don. And you're listening to What the

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F***. Welcome to What the Fuck, the podcast where

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we say all the things you're thinking. But fucking

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don't. Jesus. Yeah, you really shouldn't. Leave

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it to the professionals. Olivia Henderson goes

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by Livvy. Pretty popular TikToker. Also a door

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dasher. October 12th in Oswego, New York, she

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picked up an order for a Wendy's order. And on

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the order, it said leave at the front door. She

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picks up the order. She gets to the house and

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she goes up to the front door. In her initial

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statement, she said that the door was wide open.

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And that's when she discovered the customer laying

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down on the couch with his pants down around

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his ankles. So she decides not to call the police,

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but to film this posted on TikTok with the dude's

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name, address, phone number, the whole nine yards.

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She posted like a screenshot of the door dash.

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On TikTok. His old schlong out there for the

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world to see. Is getting advice from TikTok professionals.

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She decided to file a sexual assault. She did

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go to the police, made a police report. The police

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investigated it. They went and talked to the

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gentleman, came back and basically said that

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this gentleman did indeed order some Wendy's,

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but he was indeed very intoxicated. And from

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the time he made the order on DoorDash and the

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time that it took to get the Wendy's food to

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him, he passed the fuck out. Now. How his pants

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came down to his ankles, no one knows. Some of

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the TikTok experts are saying he did that on

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purpose. You should be wiling out when you're

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drunk, man. But if you say that he did that on

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purpose, then why would you pass the fuck out

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and not get the reaction that you're looking

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for? So that's my only thing there. Now, she

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has since been deactivated by DoorDash, and so

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has he. So she's crying about that. think was

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they took it down but it's back up now they told

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her not to repost the video but she reposted

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the video anyway with him lying there naked and

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they took the video back down again right because

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it's nudity you can't put that up there there's

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two factions there's factions that are on her

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side and there's factions that are like she's

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a fucking idiot number one i have been so drunk

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where i was hungry and i had the fucking munchies

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but i guarantee you if i was ever that drunk

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where i wanted food that goddamn bad I would

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not pass the fuck out. I would wait till I got

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the food first and then pass the fuck out. I

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would have ordered Taco Bell, frankly. Oh, true.

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Yeah, yeah. Wendy's, I don't know. I do enjoy

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a spicy chicken sandwich. Thank you, man. I'm

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right there with you. So there's a couple what

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the fucks there. What the fuck, number one, is

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why did she decide to film this and put it on

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TikTok? She wanted 15 minutes of fame. Yeah,

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but what part of you don't fucking do that? I

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think she's in her 20s. I don't know. She looks

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young. And then to claim. sexual assault dude

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was passed out he just wanted some fucking wendy's

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i hope he sues her for breaking and entering

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because she walked into a fucking house that

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she didn't that wasn't i'm pretty sure the police

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are now charging her with like trespassing and

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sexual she has been charged with two felonies

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yeah and the felonies are surveilling or surveillance

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photography and then using it for profit. She

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posted it on her TikTok, and she was gaining

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from it. Two Class E felonies. She was arrested,

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and she's decided to go with a public defender.

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I don't know if that's such a great idea, but...

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Well, she probably ain't got any money. She doesn't

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really make the greatest decisions, so you know.

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The what the fucks are, why did you open the

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door when the order said leave at the front door?

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Correct. And then number two, after you did that,

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then why did you decide to film it and put it

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on TikTok? And the third what the fuck for me

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is, dude. Don't pass the fuck out before you

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get your fucking food, man. I mean, my only question

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in that whole thing is. The pants down thing,

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I'm still not, I don't get that. Maybe. I mean,

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maybe he was drunk and just started like really

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feeling himself. I'll say the quiet part out

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loud. Maybe he was drunk and while he was waiting

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on his food, he got a little horny and watching

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some porn and maybe decided to rub one out. Who

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knows? And in the middle of it, he passed the

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fuck out. I think she's a fucking idiot. Okay.

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I think she's an idiot and she should have done

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what the instructions were, which was put at

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the door, take your picture, walk away. Yeah.

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That's all you needed to do. You didn't need

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to evade anybody's privacy, try to make a buck

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off of it and make them feel like shit. It would

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have been over. For all you know, he could have

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been going something real fucking rough and that's

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why he got drunk. And now you just added to the

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bullshit he's dealing with. Who knows? His girlfriend

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could have broken up with him and he was like

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real sad and depressed about it. Stressy, depressy,

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got drunk and then was like, and now I just want

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to eat my feelings. And then like. I don't know,

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was like, I miss her so much. Pass out. That's,

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in my brain, the scenario that happened. Don,

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what's your take? Oh, well, she illegally entered

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a man's domicile. What he's doing inside there

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is not her fucking business. He can have his

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pants fucking wrapped around his head like a

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fucking headband. I think what she did was just

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inhumane. You don't fucking walk into a man's

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house. You don't take pictures of him when he's

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passed out. You don't walk into anybody's house.

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Without explicit permission. You don't walk into

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their fucking house. Exactly. If she somehow

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through that door saw that that man was actively

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like. He had a sword hanging out of his chest.

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Saw like a fire had started in the house or something

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like maybe then. Certain things are forgivable.

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Yes, by all means. Right. Yeah. This would be

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my response. If in fact that door was wide open,

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which it wasn't. And I looked in and like, all

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right, I'm not sure why somebody would have their

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door wide open. I'd look in and if I saw the

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guy there, I'd be like, oh shit. Sorry. Walked

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away. Exactly. Not my fucking business. Right.

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Now, here's the other thing, too, and not to

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be an animal. If the motherfucker was laying

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dead in there, it's not my fucking business.

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No, you're right. It's not my fucking problem.

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True. And I ain't going to make it my problem.

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I mean, if I were her, my brain logic would say.

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If his door had been wide open and I looked in

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and I see a man looking disheveledly draped across

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a thing, half naked, looking like he's dead,

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I would not enter the domicile. However, I would

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potentially call 911 and be like, hey, I'm delivering

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a door dash. There's a dude in here who I can't

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tell if he's breathing. He's half naked. I don't

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know if he's been assaulted. Can you do a welfare

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check? This is the address. Yeah. Right. Hope

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all is well. Here you go. Like, that's what I

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would have done. That is the right thing to do.

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Because, like, in this day and age, with this

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type of situation, and even if you weren't hurt

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and you entered and he suddenly, like, woke up

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and was like, oh, my God, like, freaked out and,

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like, whatever. So, like, I would rather a cop

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be the one to show up and do some sort of wellness

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check to see if bro is okay than me enter and

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him potentially not be dead and just be like.

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And then you accidentally wake him out of that

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blackout stupor, and he freaks the fuck out and

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hurts you without realizing what the fuck he's

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doing. And then you're hurt. He's naked. Shit's

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going down. Craziness ensues. And the Sammy scenario

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grows. You're hurt. He's naked. Dick everywhere.

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What are you going to do? So the police investigated

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it, and he copped to it. He's like, look, hey,

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I was drunk. I ordered Wendy's, and before you

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get there, I passed the fuck out. Legal. Yeah.

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And basically the cops said, you didn't do anything

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illegal. Just don't do it again. Go fuck yourself,

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Mr. Cop. Fuck you. It's legal. It's not your

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fucking business. I'm in my own property. I can

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walk around naked if I want to. And the other

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thing, too, is she was. seeking advice or she

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was getting advice from people on tiktok on what

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to do that's all a followers and likes thing

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which pisses me off she's being charged with

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two felonies but those two felonies have to do

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with taking pictures and posting them online

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illegal surveillance or whatever none of them

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cover the sexual assault charge that she attempted

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to put on this motherfucker which that should

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be a false sexual assault yeah filing a false

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police report that should be another felony right

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there that's just my opinion he would probably

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have to come back and sue her for that which

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You know, when's enough enough? Enough's enough,

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you know. I wonder if it was Baconator or I wonder

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what the order was. Oh, motherfucker. There ain't

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no spicy chicken sandwich. I don't want it. No,

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I'm just kidding. They're junior bacon cheeseburgers.

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Dave's Double No Cheese. Spicy chicken sandwich.

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Fuck you. Baconator. All of those. Let me throw

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a food what the fuck your way. My wife and I,

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we live in St. Augustine, Florida. We got a lot

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of good restaurants and some not so good, but

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we like this one called Ford's Garage. Pull into

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Ford's garage. And I go to take a left turn.

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These people are standing in the road. And so

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I stop and I wait. And it's a bright sunlight.

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The sun's going down. This is dinner time. So

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they just kind of keep standing there. So I kind

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of inch up just ever so slightly. No big deal.

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That's when you pull out the old honk, honk,

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move, bitch, get out the way. They started moving,

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but really with half the speed of smell. So I

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started kind of rolling. And then. Knees to chest,

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bitch. It's a husband. Baby mama whose head moved

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like this. Oh, geez. She's got that bobble head.

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And then a toddler. So little man syndrome. Dad,

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I'm assuming, comes up, like starts approaching

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my forerunner. So I roll the fucking window down.

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He's yapping out there. So I roll the window

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down. I'm like, hey. He's like, you know, you

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better watch where you go. You want to fucking

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hurry? I'm like. Yeah, a little bit. I said,

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I apologize. I'm just. I'm hangry, bitch. You

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know, you guys were kind of standing in the middle

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of the road. No big deal. I'm not in a hurry.

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I said, the sun, I didn't really see you guys

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very well. No blood, no foul. So he started,

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keeps yapping. I said, let me stop you right

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there, man. I said, I apologize all I'm going

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to. And Melissa said something. And he said,

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oh, and I don't need anything from the peanut

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gallery. Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I would

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have hopped my ass out of that car so fast. Your

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head would have spun. I would. Under normal conditions,

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I would have jumped out and beat his ass until

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the cops got there. And his baby mama was his

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sister who was fucking mouthy cunt. If I were

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your wife, Melissa, you would have literally

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had to reach over and grab my arm to keep me

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from jumping over the fucking hood. I'm surprised

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fucking Melissa didn't fucking throw a punch

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at my motherfucker. No, it just wasn't worth

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the jail time. So I went and parked, and I parked

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far away. Because what I didn't want them to

00:11:09.169 --> 00:11:12.450
do is as we walked in the restaurant, let's just

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let it go because this is it. It's over. We don't

00:11:15.190 --> 00:11:17.850
want to change anybody's life because I'm very,

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very comfortable. Jake, as you know, I'm very

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comfortable with violence. And I'm not afraid

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of jail. I just didn't want to do anything. I

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mean, I'm a little afraid of jail, but also not

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afraid of violence. In front of this child, you

00:11:29.019 --> 00:11:30.940
know, in front of this man's child, I'm assuming

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it was his kid. I just, to me, beating somebody's

00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:35.500
ass in front of their kid, to me, is not the

00:11:35.500 --> 00:11:38.139
cool move. But it teaches those kids not to mouth

00:11:38.139 --> 00:11:40.379
off. No, it doesn't. What it teaches them is

00:11:40.379 --> 00:11:42.639
it teaches them it's okay. So what was their

00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:45.399
point of standing in a way? They were talking.

00:11:45.539 --> 00:11:48.580
So talk on a fucking sidewalk. Exactly. Yeah.

00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:50.419
So I went and parked over there and I was like,

00:11:50.460 --> 00:11:53.409
listen. Let's just walk around this way. Then

00:11:53.409 --> 00:11:57.169
I was like, you know what? No, I started be lining

00:11:57.169 --> 00:11:59.950
it towards the vehicle. And then I think when

00:11:59.950 --> 00:12:02.049
I passed him, the guy saw my military shit on

00:12:02.049 --> 00:12:04.950
the back. And as I was be lining it towards the

00:12:04.950 --> 00:12:06.850
vehicle, they were in a hurry to get the fuck

00:12:06.850 --> 00:12:08.490
out. now they're in a fucking hurry. Yeah. Yeah.

00:12:08.509 --> 00:12:10.789
Then I noticed on his license plate was a gold

00:12:10.789 --> 00:12:13.610
star family license plate. So I was like, what's

00:12:13.610 --> 00:12:17.029
that? Gold star means you had a family member,

00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:19.429
immediate family member that was killed in battle.

00:12:19.870 --> 00:12:22.549
So I was just like, okay. That's not an excuse

00:12:22.549 --> 00:12:25.129
to stand in the fucking road. But here's the

00:12:25.129 --> 00:12:27.389
thing. I sit here before you today to tell this

00:12:27.389 --> 00:12:30.190
story. And I do so for a reason. Number one,

00:12:30.210 --> 00:12:31.710
it could have taken a couple of different routes.

00:12:32.049 --> 00:12:33.990
You know, I could have beat his ass. And as soon

00:12:33.990 --> 00:12:35.830
as I got out and fucking pimp slapped him, baby

00:12:35.830 --> 00:12:37.409
mama was going to jump in the middle of that.

00:12:37.509 --> 00:12:38.850
And then I was going to have to beat her ass.

00:12:38.970 --> 00:12:40.970
Yeah. And now I got a two -year -old walking

00:12:40.970 --> 00:12:43.169
around the parking lot with no parents that are

00:12:43.169 --> 00:12:46.100
both fucking. parents are just laid out which

00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:48.539
i that there's no be like here come take a nap

00:12:48.539 --> 00:12:51.039
with mom and dad yeah it's no good ending to

00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:52.740
that so i gotta punch the kid in the face and

00:12:52.740 --> 00:12:56.580
i'm not gonna do that i gotta knock the kid out

00:12:56.580 --> 00:12:59.179
he's like inevitably you just gotta knock the

00:12:59.179 --> 00:13:01.820
whole family out but here's the thing mama said

00:13:01.820 --> 00:13:04.019
knock you out i tell i tell you that story to

00:13:04.019 --> 00:13:07.159
tell you this one if you're angry at the world

00:13:07.159 --> 00:13:10.379
if you're a fucking angry midget you need to

00:13:10.379 --> 00:13:13.360
mind your fucking business because i'm a let

00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:15.639
me tell you this yeah there are people like me

00:13:15.639 --> 00:13:17.740
everywhere we're nice people until we're not

00:13:17.740 --> 00:13:21.059
and i am like i said i am very comfortable with

00:13:21.059 --> 00:13:25.990
violence and this guy had no idea what he was

00:13:25.990 --> 00:13:29.529
potentially walking into oh no trust me he was

00:13:29.529 --> 00:13:32.110
about two inches away i'm not a violent person

00:13:32.110 --> 00:13:34.049
i'm just very comfortable with it because my

00:13:34.049 --> 00:13:36.850
i had a past life he wasn't doing anything but

00:13:36.850 --> 00:13:39.009
talking it would have taken about one little

00:13:39.009 --> 00:13:41.649
smart ass punch to the you know the mirror in

00:13:41.649 --> 00:13:44.169
my truck or something like that and i would have

00:13:44.169 --> 00:13:46.350
probably been in prison right now but at the

00:13:46.350 --> 00:13:50.409
end of the day that's just walk away most normal

00:13:50.409 --> 00:13:52.350
people including myself it would have been like

00:13:52.350 --> 00:13:54.840
hey you know what No worries, man. Don't sweat

00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:57.139
it, brother. I get it. No worries. And then that

00:13:57.139 --> 00:13:58.539
would have been the end of that. But he kept

00:13:58.539 --> 00:14:01.120
yapping. And then as they were driving away,

00:14:01.220 --> 00:14:04.820
they were about 50 meters away, going out of

00:14:04.820 --> 00:14:08.240
the parking lot. His fucking baby mama, whatever

00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:12.519
the fuck she is, rolls the window down and fucking

00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:14.179
whips out, You hillbilly bitch!