Dec. 16, 2025
Fish & Chips
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🎙️ What The Fuck – Episode 6: Fish and Chips
Just when you think you’ve heard it all… nope. Not even close.
Sammie kicks off this episode with a neighborly tale that immediately raises the question: who let these kids become feral? Full-blown chaos erupts when her neighbor’s kids start flinging fire ants at each other. Spoiler alert: we still don't know the Whole story.
Next, Don takes us on a Thanksgiving road trip from Florida to Louisiana, where questionable driving isn’t just a behavior—it’s a lifestyle. Fresh off the highway, he rolls straight into his Top 3 Worst Drivers of the Week, based on license plates, because accountability matters… especially on the road. If you’ve ever yelled “HOW do you still have a license?” at your windshield, this one’s for you. Georgia, this may Not be the best episode for you.
Jake wraps things up with a full-on meltdown over a California restaurant that decided to get creative with the meaning of “Fish and Chips”—and not in a good way. When cost-cutting meets wordplay and customer expectations, the result is culinary confusion, righteous outrage, and a passionate debate over what words are actually supposed to mean. The WTF crew is not okay with this.
From fire ants to bad drivers to food crimes, Fish and Chips delivers exactly what the name promises: confusion, frustration, and a whole lot of What The Fuck/Fish?
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There are some episodes I've liffin' to. Liffin'
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to? Words are hard. 20 bucks is 20 bucks, mother
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f***er. I would absolutely Spartan kick his ass
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out of the restaurant. Spartan kick? Spartan
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kick. What's an old woman's beaver smell like?
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Couldn't tell you. Depends. Please, sir, I'd
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like some more. She's a beaver doctor. F*** them
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kids. F*** them kids. Crab legs. With a side
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of crab legs. See, that's pro -level shit right
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there. A coke and fries, motherfucker! Annual
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pilgrimage. Words are hard. I just want to lick
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that motherfucker. I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy.
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This is The Don. And you're listening to What
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The Fuck. Welcome to What The Fuck. The podcast
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where we say all the things you're thinking.
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Oh, Jesus. Fuck, don't do that. No, you really
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shouldn't. Would y 'all like to hear about what
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I walked out of my house to the other day? Yes,
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please. Yes, absolutely. I'm going to leave the
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house. I open my door, close my door. I'm standing
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on my porch and all of a sudden I hear a kid
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screaming, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,
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I hate you. And I'm like. what in the fuck is
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happening? And then all of a sudden I hear my
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neighbor, the dad, you idiot. Why would you throw
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fire ants on your brother? What the fuck? I was
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like. What is happening? It was the daughter
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who threw the fire ants on her little brother.
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And he was the one screaming, I hate you. Because
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he had fire ants all over him. I want to fucking
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party with that child. And I immediately kind
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of slowly peeked around. Because I was like,
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I don't want them to see me and be like, what?
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I seriously. I was like, oh, my God. That's the
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funniest shit I've ever heard. My immediate question
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is. Did she not get bit by them damn fire ants?
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Well, that's part of it. Like, how did you collect
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the ants to then throw them onto somebody? Like,
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how was this done? I don't know if it was like
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a scoop and throw or like a shovel and throw
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or whatever vessel was nearby and throw. I don't
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know how the delivery happened, but somehow.
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And these weren't pet ants. These were ants that
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were like on the wild. No, these were like out
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in their yard. So they were collected. Tell me
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again what dad said. You idiot. You threw fire
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ants on your brother. All right. Good parenting.
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Yeah. I mean, I like it. Yeah. He didn't say,
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you fucking idiot. Next time I see him, I'll
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be like, hey, yo, your kid okay after the fire
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ants? And I'll be like, what? See if he got video.
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Oh, I heard my guy. But I just thought that was
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funny because I was like, man, it's been a while
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since I've heard a good kid dum -dum maneuver.
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Listen, you got to do what you got to do to find
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out where your fucking boundaries are at that
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age. Yeah. I mean, apparently fire ants were
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this kid's boundary. That was his hard no. Speaking
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of some really neat shit shows, I drove from
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Florida to Louisiana this week for Thanksgiving.
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And holy fucking shit. We drove across Florida,
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which is a big state. Right. Driving through
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Florida is half the trip. And then there's Alabama,
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Mississippi, Louisiana into Baton Rouge. Always
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a great family reunion. Cajun food. You know,
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just a big Fado Dough, man. A big party. Sounds
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delicious. But the fucking drivers. Here we go.
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Let me tell you this. And you've heard me say
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it before. I say, listen, the top shit drivers,
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generally Florida, which I'm going to defend,
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Georgia, South Carolina, Louisiana. We can't
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drive in Louisiana. But let me tell you what
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happened. As we're going through here, we noticed
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a bunch of different things. First off, the state
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of Florida, super clean. Roads are great. Not
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just because I live here, just because it is
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what it is. When we crossed into Alabama, much
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of the same. You go over Mobile Bay. It's always
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beautiful. There's the museum there with the
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USS Alabama and the shipyards and things like
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that. And then you cross into Mississippi, and
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the roads get a little worse. When you cross
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into Louisiana, the roads are, number one, they're
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shit. They're garbage. And I'm talking about
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the same fucking highway around Mandeville is
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when people go fucking nuts because you have
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this mixture of Mississippi folks, commuters,
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Louisiana. texas katrina sent a lot of new orleans
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refugees to texas and now they come home to visit
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family so you got a lot of texas license plates
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in there texas you fucking suck at driving okay
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just so you know so when you get this mixed together
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with louisiana i mean louisiana we're very particular
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about we love us we loves us some us It was fucking
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terrible. I will probably never do this drive
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again. I will fly in there going forward. That's
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how bad it was. Damn. And, oh, yeah, just people
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speeding up to try to block you from getting
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into space. Just fucking terrible. Like, where
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are you going in such a fucking rush, man? Everybody's
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in a fucking hurry. To get nowhere. It's like
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driving between New Orleans and Baton Rouge,
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the commuters. 100 miles an hour in the left
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lane. If you're not doing 100, you're in the
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right lane, and we play very well together. So
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what did we learn from this little drive? Number
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one, we learned that Florida drivers may not
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be as bad as we think they are. Here's why. I
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think that the bad Florida drivers are just refugees
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from Georgia. Refugees. Refugees. I'm not saying,
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because I'm not going to go in any particular
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order here. Refugee Georgians, if you will? Refugees
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from Georgia that have moved to Florida and now
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have Florida plates. I got Tom Petty in my head
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right now. I don't know that Georgians are the
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cause of all traffic woes in the Southeast. Here's
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what I do know, and this is not disputable. Anytime
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traffic gets fucked up, there's a motherfucking
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Georgian around somewhere. There's a Georgia
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license plate, maybe more than one. They are
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fucking it up. So my top three this week, very,
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very easy. Number three, Louisiana, you were
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bad, and I'm embarrassed. You were just fucking
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terrible at driving this week. Number two, motherfucking
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Texas. Texas, go back to Texas. Go do you, boo
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-boo. You're bad. And number one, no surprise
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to anybody, by a long shot, oh, by the way, motherfucking
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Georgia. A restaurant in California. The California
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Fish Grill. A couple weeks ago, they got into
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a little bit of kerfuffle. Okay. Somebody in
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their higher -ups decided that the term fish
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and chips doesn't necessarily mean that you get
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fish and chips. So I guess this was a money thing
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where they were like, we could save some money
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if we kind of play with that term. Let them order
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the fish and chips, but if they don't say specifically,
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I want it with chips. They're just going to get
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a plate of fish. I'm sorry, fucking what? Now,
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here's where it gets even stupider. It gets stupider?
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They weren't trying to charge you extra for the
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chips. They're just trying to bring food costs
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down. They just want you to say it. Hey, I want
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the fish and chips with the chips. You literally
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would have to order it that way. And they weren't
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charging you anything extra for it. In other
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words, if you said that, I want the fish and
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chips and I want the chips. They wouldn't even
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charge you extra for it. But people were ordering
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fish and chips, and they were just being brought
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out a plate of fish. That's literally the dumbest
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thing I've ever fucking heard. Customers were
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like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the
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actual motherfuck? Yeah, pretty bad. So they
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started getting bad reviews. As they 100 % should.
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This journalist for some newspaper in that area,
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he got on the story, and I guess he went to the
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restaurant, and he experienced it firsthand.
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He ordered fish and chips, but he didn't say
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chips. So he wrote a review. That got a little
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bit of attention because then one of the stores
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said, well, we don't charge you extra for the
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chips, but you have to say it. So then he decided,
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I'm going to call their corporate and see what
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their corporate has to say. What's their official
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word? Is this a franchise? It must be. Maybe
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it's just a California thing. Corporate was like,
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we consider the chips as a side, but we're not
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charging extra. No, no fucktards. You don't.
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Then just call it fish. He wrote an editorial
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after he made these phone calls. He got like
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seven different answers as to what the official
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word was. And then. A week later, California
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Fish Grill came out and said, OK, based on the
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attention that we were getting with this, if
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you come into our restaurant now and you order
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fish and chips, you're going to get fish and
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chips. Yeah. Don, I want to get your opinion
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on this. Oh, no, you don't want my fucking opinion
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on this because I'm here to tell you. The journey
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my face has taken through this entire story is
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wild. I cannot agree more with Sammy's initial
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response. Here's the thing, guys. It's bad business
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practice. I'm not saying it's illegal to deceive.
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purposefully your clientele in order to save
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money listen i want fish and chips all right
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would you like chips with that motherfucker what
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the it says it right in the name yeah exactly
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it says it right in the name it's giving like
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Oh, yeah. I'd like to get some mac and cheese
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and they just bring you plain pasta. Can I get
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the cheese? Where's the cheese? Be like, oh,
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you wanted cheese on it? Are you fucking kidding
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me right now? I cannot agree. I would be so.
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I cannot agree more, Sammy. Live it. That to
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me. I'd be like, what the fuck? That is called
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purposeful deception. In ethical businesses,
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you would be fired over that shit. This is so
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fucking insane. To me, it would have made more
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sense if they were trying to charge you for the
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chips. In other words, yes, if you want fish
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and chips, we're going to charge you for the
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fish, and then we're also going to charge you
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for the chips. But no, it wasn't even that. It
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was just a food cost saving thing, not a money
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saving necessarily. They wanted you to say, I
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want the fucking chips with the fish, even though
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I just ordered fish and chips. It's like you
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order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Can
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I get jelly on that? It's in the fucking name.
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See, that's the thing. That's like somebody going,
00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:06.320
yeah, we're going to go to Paris, and then they
00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:08.759
take you to Paris, Texas. Or Paris, Tennessee.
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Oh, my God. Or any Paris other than France. And
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I hate to say this, too, and I don't want to
00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:17.279
sound ugly. It's still Paris. Shut the fuck up.
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California, only in fucking California. Fucking
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California. What a bunch of Moe's over there.
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The less they sell, the less they have to order
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this, the less. that they're spending on that
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item, especially if it's something that they
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perceive that, oh, people don't even eat it half
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the time anyway, so it's just getting thrown
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in the trash anyway. That's for the consumer
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to make that decision if they want to eat it
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or not. Or say, hey, I'd like the fish and chips
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without the chips. I just want fried fish. Yeah.
00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:46.460
Correct. And here's the other thing you could
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do. I would like fish and chips. All right. Coo,
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coo, coo, coo. For the chips, would you like
00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:56.500
small, medium, or large? Yeah. Same price, all
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three. Or none at all. Yeah. And at least make
00:10:59.799 --> 00:11:02.000
it transparent. But for someone to go in and
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order, I'm going to tell you right now, let's
00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:06.740
say Sammy and I went on a little datey date.
00:11:07.740 --> 00:11:09.980
And we're like, I was like, well, honey, what
00:11:09.980 --> 00:11:11.379
would you like? Well, I'd like the fish and chips.
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:13.220
You know what? That sounds delightful. I'd like
00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:15.159
fish and chips too. And that shit showed up to
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our table with just fish. With no chips. Don,
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I'm swinging. It would not. end well i'm swinging
00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.799
on people i promise you is it just me it's so
00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:28.159
stupid because you're ordering something that
00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:30.600
has literally two things in the name of the fucking
00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:36.080
dish yeah you shouldn't have to like i well i
00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.860
my brain's short circuiting truly it's short
00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:43.620
circuiting chips what do i get i want fish and
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motherfucking chips now If you withhold the coleslaw,
00:11:48.019 --> 00:11:51.460
well, okay. Save some money there. You saved
00:11:51.460 --> 00:11:53.899
a little bit on cabbage, bud. Nobody eats coleslaw.
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I don't like coleslaw. I'd be like, no coleslaw,
00:11:57.740 --> 00:11:59.779
please. But that's the thing. People can say,
00:11:59.840 --> 00:12:02.820
I don't want something instead of you omitting
00:12:02.820 --> 00:12:05.500
it and then making me have to go, okay, so now
00:12:05.500 --> 00:12:07.279
I have to wait for the second half of my meal
00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:09.519
to come out while this one gets cold while I
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.240
wait for your stupidity to bring me the other
00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:12.740
half that should have come with it. You nailed
00:12:12.740 --> 00:12:14.879
it right there. No. When they came back and they
00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:17.659
said, okay, we goofed. They said, you can order
00:12:17.659 --> 00:12:19.580
fish and chips and you'll get fish and chips.
00:12:19.700 --> 00:12:22.340
And we also have fish only platters. For those
00:12:22.340 --> 00:12:23.700
people that just want to order fish and then
00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:25.279
you can order your own size. So they made it
00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:27.279
easier. To me, that makes more sense because
00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:29.720
not everyone likes French fries. I get that.
00:12:29.860 --> 00:12:32.059
All right. Right. In the original plan, if they
00:12:32.059 --> 00:12:34.620
had just done that, if they had just said, hey,
00:12:34.740 --> 00:12:36.559
if you don't want the fish and chips, you can
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:38.039
just order a fish platter and then order your
00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:41.759
own size. And here's another idea. And I'm taking
00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:45.539
this out of the Chick -fil -A playbook. How about,
00:12:45.740 --> 00:12:50.779
I don't know. Train your fucking employees. Because
00:12:50.779 --> 00:12:52.559
here's the thing. If you've ever worked at a
00:12:52.559 --> 00:12:56.120
restaurant, most of the time, there's a briefing.
00:12:56.860 --> 00:12:59.019
Like, hey, these are the specials for today.
00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:01.240
You know how I know? Because every fucking restaurant
00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:03.000
I ever go into, they say, would you like me to
00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.659
read the specials? Yeah. Well, we have fish and
00:13:05.659 --> 00:13:10.419
chips. Does that come with chips? My brain just
00:13:10.419 --> 00:13:12.299
thought of another one. Yeah, I'd like to get
00:13:12.299 --> 00:13:14.440
the meat lovers pizza and they bring it out as
00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:16.019
a cheese pizza and you go, where's the meat?
00:13:16.059 --> 00:13:18.080
They go, what specific meat did you want on it?
00:13:18.139 --> 00:13:20.740
You just said meat lovers. Well, you're a meat
00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:23.419
lover, but you ordered the cheese pizza by virtue
00:13:23.419 --> 00:13:28.820
of that statement. Be like, oh, meat lover just
00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:31.320
means like you love meat and we're giving you
00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:37.129
a cheese pizza. The logic. I fear we as a society
00:13:37.129 --> 00:13:40.389
are just... That we're not wrong, Jake? No, what's
00:13:40.389 --> 00:13:41.990
fucked up right now is now I want motherfucking
00:13:41.990 --> 00:13:44.370
fish and chips. I'm fucking hungry. I ain't mad
00:13:44.370 --> 00:13:48.029
at you. I'm not mad at you. I'd like the fish
00:13:48.029 --> 00:13:49.409
and chips.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.279
There are some episodes I've liffin' to. Liffin'
00:00:02.279 --> 00:00:04.759
to? Words are hard. 20 bucks is 20 bucks, mother
00:00:04.759 --> 00:00:08.519
f***er. I would absolutely Spartan kick his ass
00:00:08.519 --> 00:00:11.699
out of the restaurant. Spartan kick? Spartan
00:00:11.699 --> 00:00:13.599
kick. What's an old woman's beaver smell like?
00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:17.519
Couldn't tell you. Depends. Please, sir, I'd
00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:23.859
like some more. She's a beaver doctor. F*** them
00:00:23.859 --> 00:00:27.760
kids. F*** them kids. Crab legs. With a side
00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:30.219
of crab legs. See, that's pro -level shit right
00:00:30.219 --> 00:00:33.759
there. A coke and fries, motherfucker! Annual
00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:38.039
pilgrimage. Words are hard. I just want to lick
00:00:38.039 --> 00:00:40.340
that motherfucker. I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy.
00:00:40.520 --> 00:00:42.960
This is The Don. And you're listening to What
00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:56.549
The Fuck. Welcome to What The Fuck. The podcast
00:00:56.549 --> 00:00:58.350
where we say all the things you're thinking.
00:00:58.630 --> 00:01:01.689
Oh, Jesus. Fuck, don't do that. No, you really
00:01:01.689 --> 00:01:04.230
shouldn't. Would y 'all like to hear about what
00:01:04.230 --> 00:01:06.569
I walked out of my house to the other day? Yes,
00:01:06.569 --> 00:01:09.170
please. Yes, absolutely. I'm going to leave the
00:01:09.170 --> 00:01:11.790
house. I open my door, close my door. I'm standing
00:01:11.790 --> 00:01:13.810
on my porch and all of a sudden I hear a kid
00:01:13.810 --> 00:01:16.670
screaming, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,
00:01:16.689 --> 00:01:19.219
I hate you. And I'm like. what in the fuck is
00:01:19.219 --> 00:01:22.239
happening? And then all of a sudden I hear my
00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:25.560
neighbor, the dad, you idiot. Why would you throw
00:01:25.560 --> 00:01:29.760
fire ants on your brother? What the fuck? I was
00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:33.280
like. What is happening? It was the daughter
00:01:33.280 --> 00:01:36.239
who threw the fire ants on her little brother.
00:01:36.500 --> 00:01:39.140
And he was the one screaming, I hate you. Because
00:01:39.140 --> 00:01:42.260
he had fire ants all over him. I want to fucking
00:01:42.260 --> 00:01:45.159
party with that child. And I immediately kind
00:01:45.159 --> 00:01:47.180
of slowly peeked around. Because I was like,
00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:48.519
I don't want them to see me and be like, what?
00:01:50.299 --> 00:01:54.719
I seriously. I was like, oh, my God. That's the
00:01:54.719 --> 00:01:57.400
funniest shit I've ever heard. My immediate question
00:01:57.400 --> 00:02:02.079
is. Did she not get bit by them damn fire ants?
00:02:02.099 --> 00:02:04.859
Well, that's part of it. Like, how did you collect
00:02:04.859 --> 00:02:08.199
the ants to then throw them onto somebody? Like,
00:02:08.259 --> 00:02:09.900
how was this done? I don't know if it was like
00:02:09.900 --> 00:02:13.120
a scoop and throw or like a shovel and throw
00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:17.039
or whatever vessel was nearby and throw. I don't
00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:19.879
know how the delivery happened, but somehow.
00:02:20.500 --> 00:02:21.840
And these weren't pet ants. These were ants that
00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:23.680
were like on the wild. No, these were like out
00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:27.259
in their yard. So they were collected. Tell me
00:02:27.259 --> 00:02:30.560
again what dad said. You idiot. You threw fire
00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:32.939
ants on your brother. All right. Good parenting.
00:02:33.080 --> 00:02:35.199
Yeah. I mean, I like it. Yeah. He didn't say,
00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:37.439
you fucking idiot. Next time I see him, I'll
00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:39.740
be like, hey, yo, your kid okay after the fire
00:02:39.740 --> 00:02:41.900
ants? And I'll be like, what? See if he got video.
00:02:42.139 --> 00:02:44.259
Oh, I heard my guy. But I just thought that was
00:02:44.259 --> 00:02:46.080
funny because I was like, man, it's been a while
00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:48.460
since I've heard a good kid dum -dum maneuver.
00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:50.560
Listen, you got to do what you got to do to find
00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:51.879
out where your fucking boundaries are at that
00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:54.039
age. Yeah. I mean, apparently fire ants were
00:02:54.039 --> 00:02:56.800
this kid's boundary. That was his hard no. Speaking
00:02:56.800 --> 00:03:00.439
of some really neat shit shows, I drove from
00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:03.759
Florida to Louisiana this week for Thanksgiving.
00:03:04.409 --> 00:03:08.650
And holy fucking shit. We drove across Florida,
00:03:08.909 --> 00:03:11.330
which is a big state. Right. Driving through
00:03:11.330 --> 00:03:14.169
Florida is half the trip. And then there's Alabama,
00:03:14.349 --> 00:03:17.169
Mississippi, Louisiana into Baton Rouge. Always
00:03:17.169 --> 00:03:20.090
a great family reunion. Cajun food. You know,
00:03:20.110 --> 00:03:22.430
just a big Fado Dough, man. A big party. Sounds
00:03:22.430 --> 00:03:27.210
delicious. But the fucking drivers. Here we go.
00:03:27.569 --> 00:03:30.830
Let me tell you this. And you've heard me say
00:03:30.830 --> 00:03:33.469
it before. I say, listen, the top shit drivers,
00:03:33.669 --> 00:03:36.930
generally Florida, which I'm going to defend,
00:03:37.409 --> 00:03:40.849
Georgia, South Carolina, Louisiana. We can't
00:03:40.849 --> 00:03:42.289
drive in Louisiana. But let me tell you what
00:03:42.289 --> 00:03:44.650
happened. As we're going through here, we noticed
00:03:44.650 --> 00:03:46.150
a bunch of different things. First off, the state
00:03:46.150 --> 00:03:49.569
of Florida, super clean. Roads are great. Not
00:03:49.569 --> 00:03:51.210
just because I live here, just because it is
00:03:51.210 --> 00:03:54.710
what it is. When we crossed into Alabama, much
00:03:54.710 --> 00:03:57.560
of the same. You go over Mobile Bay. It's always
00:03:57.560 --> 00:03:59.599
beautiful. There's the museum there with the
00:03:59.599 --> 00:04:02.180
USS Alabama and the shipyards and things like
00:04:02.180 --> 00:04:05.139
that. And then you cross into Mississippi, and
00:04:05.139 --> 00:04:08.719
the roads get a little worse. When you cross
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:10.800
into Louisiana, the roads are, number one, they're
00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:13.219
shit. They're garbage. And I'm talking about
00:04:13.219 --> 00:04:16.259
the same fucking highway around Mandeville is
00:04:16.259 --> 00:04:19.019
when people go fucking nuts because you have
00:04:19.019 --> 00:04:22.680
this mixture of Mississippi folks, commuters,
00:04:22.899 --> 00:04:27.339
Louisiana. texas katrina sent a lot of new orleans
00:04:27.339 --> 00:04:29.899
refugees to texas and now they come home to visit
00:04:29.899 --> 00:04:31.819
family so you got a lot of texas license plates
00:04:31.819 --> 00:04:36.519
in there texas you fucking suck at driving okay
00:04:36.519 --> 00:04:39.060
just so you know so when you get this mixed together
00:04:39.060 --> 00:04:41.699
with louisiana i mean louisiana we're very particular
00:04:41.699 --> 00:04:46.720
about we love us we loves us some us It was fucking
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:49.480
terrible. I will probably never do this drive
00:04:49.480 --> 00:04:52.279
again. I will fly in there going forward. That's
00:04:52.279 --> 00:04:55.379
how bad it was. Damn. And, oh, yeah, just people
00:04:55.379 --> 00:04:57.439
speeding up to try to block you from getting
00:04:57.439 --> 00:05:00.800
into space. Just fucking terrible. Like, where
00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:03.779
are you going in such a fucking rush, man? Everybody's
00:05:03.779 --> 00:05:06.779
in a fucking hurry. To get nowhere. It's like
00:05:06.779 --> 00:05:08.639
driving between New Orleans and Baton Rouge,
00:05:08.699 --> 00:05:10.959
the commuters. 100 miles an hour in the left
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:13.199
lane. If you're not doing 100, you're in the
00:05:13.199 --> 00:05:15.620
right lane, and we play very well together. So
00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:18.600
what did we learn from this little drive? Number
00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:21.139
one, we learned that Florida drivers may not
00:05:21.139 --> 00:05:23.699
be as bad as we think they are. Here's why. I
00:05:23.699 --> 00:05:26.579
think that the bad Florida drivers are just refugees
00:05:26.579 --> 00:05:32.649
from Georgia. Refugees. Refugees. I'm not saying,
00:05:32.930 --> 00:05:34.370
because I'm not going to go in any particular
00:05:34.370 --> 00:05:36.810
order here. Refugee Georgians, if you will? Refugees
00:05:36.810 --> 00:05:39.629
from Georgia that have moved to Florida and now
00:05:39.629 --> 00:05:41.870
have Florida plates. I got Tom Petty in my head
00:05:41.870 --> 00:05:44.870
right now. I don't know that Georgians are the
00:05:44.870 --> 00:05:49.490
cause of all traffic woes in the Southeast. Here's
00:05:49.490 --> 00:05:52.430
what I do know, and this is not disputable. Anytime
00:05:52.430 --> 00:05:56.149
traffic gets fucked up, there's a motherfucking
00:05:56.149 --> 00:05:58.910
Georgian around somewhere. There's a Georgia
00:05:58.910 --> 00:06:01.800
license plate, maybe more than one. They are
00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:05.779
fucking it up. So my top three this week, very,
00:06:05.860 --> 00:06:10.220
very easy. Number three, Louisiana, you were
00:06:10.220 --> 00:06:13.220
bad, and I'm embarrassed. You were just fucking
00:06:13.220 --> 00:06:16.720
terrible at driving this week. Number two, motherfucking
00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:20.600
Texas. Texas, go back to Texas. Go do you, boo
00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:24.459
-boo. You're bad. And number one, no surprise
00:06:24.459 --> 00:06:28.180
to anybody, by a long shot, oh, by the way, motherfucking
00:06:28.180 --> 00:06:31.970
Georgia. A restaurant in California. The California
00:06:31.970 --> 00:06:34.370
Fish Grill. A couple weeks ago, they got into
00:06:34.370 --> 00:06:37.870
a little bit of kerfuffle. Okay. Somebody in
00:06:37.870 --> 00:06:42.649
their higher -ups decided that the term fish
00:06:42.649 --> 00:06:45.709
and chips doesn't necessarily mean that you get
00:06:45.709 --> 00:06:50.689
fish and chips. So I guess this was a money thing
00:06:50.689 --> 00:06:53.269
where they were like, we could save some money
00:06:53.269 --> 00:06:57.930
if we kind of play with that term. Let them order
00:06:57.930 --> 00:07:00.670
the fish and chips, but if they don't say specifically,
00:07:01.230 --> 00:07:03.189
I want it with chips. They're just going to get
00:07:03.189 --> 00:07:07.269
a plate of fish. I'm sorry, fucking what? Now,
00:07:07.269 --> 00:07:10.790
here's where it gets even stupider. It gets stupider?
00:07:10.910 --> 00:07:13.089
They weren't trying to charge you extra for the
00:07:13.089 --> 00:07:14.930
chips. They're just trying to bring food costs
00:07:14.930 --> 00:07:17.350
down. They just want you to say it. Hey, I want
00:07:17.350 --> 00:07:19.569
the fish and chips with the chips. You literally
00:07:19.569 --> 00:07:21.189
would have to order it that way. And they weren't
00:07:21.189 --> 00:07:22.670
charging you anything extra for it. In other
00:07:22.670 --> 00:07:24.209
words, if you said that, I want the fish and
00:07:24.209 --> 00:07:26.240
chips and I want the chips. They wouldn't even
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:28.240
charge you extra for it. But people were ordering
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:29.920
fish and chips, and they were just being brought
00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:32.120
out a plate of fish. That's literally the dumbest
00:07:32.120 --> 00:07:34.079
thing I've ever fucking heard. Customers were
00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:36.620
like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the
00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:39.680
actual motherfuck? Yeah, pretty bad. So they
00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:42.319
started getting bad reviews. As they 100 % should.
00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:45.600
This journalist for some newspaper in that area,
00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:47.980
he got on the story, and I guess he went to the
00:07:47.980 --> 00:07:50.060
restaurant, and he experienced it firsthand.
00:07:50.339 --> 00:07:51.959
He ordered fish and chips, but he didn't say
00:07:51.959 --> 00:07:55.939
chips. So he wrote a review. That got a little
00:07:55.939 --> 00:07:57.379
bit of attention because then one of the stores
00:07:57.379 --> 00:07:59.759
said, well, we don't charge you extra for the
00:07:59.759 --> 00:08:03.019
chips, but you have to say it. So then he decided,
00:08:03.139 --> 00:08:05.180
I'm going to call their corporate and see what
00:08:05.180 --> 00:08:07.000
their corporate has to say. What's their official
00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:09.079
word? Is this a franchise? It must be. Maybe
00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:11.060
it's just a California thing. Corporate was like,
00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:13.639
we consider the chips as a side, but we're not
00:08:13.639 --> 00:08:16.060
charging extra. No, no fucktards. You don't.
00:08:16.060 --> 00:08:18.199
Then just call it fish. He wrote an editorial
00:08:18.199 --> 00:08:20.279
after he made these phone calls. He got like
00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:22.379
seven different answers as to what the official
00:08:22.379 --> 00:08:25.879
word was. And then. A week later, California
00:08:25.879 --> 00:08:29.480
Fish Grill came out and said, OK, based on the
00:08:29.480 --> 00:08:31.980
attention that we were getting with this, if
00:08:31.980 --> 00:08:33.460
you come into our restaurant now and you order
00:08:33.460 --> 00:08:34.679
fish and chips, you're going to get fish and
00:08:34.679 --> 00:08:36.759
chips. Yeah. Don, I want to get your opinion
00:08:36.759 --> 00:08:38.879
on this. Oh, no, you don't want my fucking opinion
00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:40.539
on this because I'm here to tell you. The journey
00:08:40.539 --> 00:08:42.820
my face has taken through this entire story is
00:08:42.820 --> 00:08:46.399
wild. I cannot agree more with Sammy's initial
00:08:46.399 --> 00:08:50.559
response. Here's the thing, guys. It's bad business
00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:53.340
practice. I'm not saying it's illegal to deceive.
00:08:54.450 --> 00:08:58.070
purposefully your clientele in order to save
00:08:58.070 --> 00:09:01.370
money listen i want fish and chips all right
00:09:01.370 --> 00:09:03.190
would you like chips with that motherfucker what
00:09:03.190 --> 00:09:06.350
the it says it right in the name yeah exactly
00:09:06.350 --> 00:09:08.090
it says it right in the name it's giving like
00:09:08.509 --> 00:09:10.690
Oh, yeah. I'd like to get some mac and cheese
00:09:10.690 --> 00:09:13.370
and they just bring you plain pasta. Can I get
00:09:13.370 --> 00:09:16.769
the cheese? Where's the cheese? Be like, oh,
00:09:16.789 --> 00:09:19.210
you wanted cheese on it? Are you fucking kidding
00:09:19.210 --> 00:09:21.350
me right now? I cannot agree. I would be so.
00:09:21.370 --> 00:09:24.649
I cannot agree more, Sammy. Live it. That to
00:09:24.649 --> 00:09:26.870
me. I'd be like, what the fuck? That is called
00:09:26.870 --> 00:09:30.309
purposeful deception. In ethical businesses,
00:09:30.450 --> 00:09:33.870
you would be fired over that shit. This is so
00:09:33.870 --> 00:09:35.870
fucking insane. To me, it would have made more
00:09:35.870 --> 00:09:38.029
sense if they were trying to charge you for the
00:09:38.029 --> 00:09:40.429
chips. In other words, yes, if you want fish
00:09:40.429 --> 00:09:41.809
and chips, we're going to charge you for the
00:09:41.809 --> 00:09:43.149
fish, and then we're also going to charge you
00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:45.649
for the chips. But no, it wasn't even that. It
00:09:45.649 --> 00:09:48.230
was just a food cost saving thing, not a money
00:09:48.230 --> 00:09:50.669
saving necessarily. They wanted you to say, I
00:09:50.669 --> 00:09:53.889
want the fucking chips with the fish, even though
00:09:53.889 --> 00:09:55.950
I just ordered fish and chips. It's like you
00:09:55.950 --> 00:09:57.730
order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Can
00:09:57.730 --> 00:10:01.000
I get jelly on that? It's in the fucking name.
00:10:01.100 --> 00:10:04.440
See, that's the thing. That's like somebody going,
00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:06.320
yeah, we're going to go to Paris, and then they
00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:08.759
take you to Paris, Texas. Or Paris, Tennessee.
00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.480
Oh, my God. Or any Paris other than France. And
00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:14.620
I hate to say this, too, and I don't want to
00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:17.279
sound ugly. It's still Paris. Shut the fuck up.
00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:20.980
California, only in fucking California. Fucking
00:10:20.980 --> 00:10:24.700
California. What a bunch of Moe's over there.
00:10:24.980 --> 00:10:26.840
The less they sell, the less they have to order
00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:29.419
this, the less. that they're spending on that
00:10:29.419 --> 00:10:31.279
item, especially if it's something that they
00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:33.100
perceive that, oh, people don't even eat it half
00:10:33.100 --> 00:10:34.620
the time anyway, so it's just getting thrown
00:10:34.620 --> 00:10:36.860
in the trash anyway. That's for the consumer
00:10:36.860 --> 00:10:38.460
to make that decision if they want to eat it
00:10:38.460 --> 00:10:40.960
or not. Or say, hey, I'd like the fish and chips
00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:44.019
without the chips. I just want fried fish. Yeah.
00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:46.460
Correct. And here's the other thing you could
00:10:46.460 --> 00:10:50.899
do. I would like fish and chips. All right. Coo,
00:10:50.980 --> 00:10:53.440
coo, coo, coo. For the chips, would you like
00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:56.500
small, medium, or large? Yeah. Same price, all
00:10:56.500 --> 00:10:59.799
three. Or none at all. Yeah. And at least make
00:10:59.799 --> 00:11:02.000
it transparent. But for someone to go in and
00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:04.480
order, I'm going to tell you right now, let's
00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:06.740
say Sammy and I went on a little datey date.
00:11:07.740 --> 00:11:09.980
And we're like, I was like, well, honey, what
00:11:09.980 --> 00:11:11.379
would you like? Well, I'd like the fish and chips.
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:13.220
You know what? That sounds delightful. I'd like
00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:15.159
fish and chips too. And that shit showed up to
00:11:15.159 --> 00:11:17.139
our table with just fish. With no chips. Don,
00:11:17.259 --> 00:11:20.440
I'm swinging. It would not. end well i'm swinging
00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.799
on people i promise you is it just me it's so
00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:28.159
stupid because you're ordering something that
00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:30.600
has literally two things in the name of the fucking
00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:36.080
dish yeah you shouldn't have to like i well i
00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.860
my brain's short circuiting truly it's short
00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:43.620
circuiting chips what do i get i want fish and
00:11:43.620 --> 00:11:47.799
motherfucking chips now If you withhold the coleslaw,
00:11:48.019 --> 00:11:51.460
well, okay. Save some money there. You saved
00:11:51.460 --> 00:11:53.899
a little bit on cabbage, bud. Nobody eats coleslaw.
00:11:53.899 --> 00:11:57.700
I don't like coleslaw. I'd be like, no coleslaw,
00:11:57.740 --> 00:11:59.779
please. But that's the thing. People can say,
00:11:59.840 --> 00:12:02.820
I don't want something instead of you omitting
00:12:02.820 --> 00:12:05.500
it and then making me have to go, okay, so now
00:12:05.500 --> 00:12:07.279
I have to wait for the second half of my meal
00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:09.519
to come out while this one gets cold while I
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.240
wait for your stupidity to bring me the other
00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:12.740
half that should have come with it. You nailed
00:12:12.740 --> 00:12:14.879
it right there. No. When they came back and they
00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:17.659
said, okay, we goofed. They said, you can order
00:12:17.659 --> 00:12:19.580
fish and chips and you'll get fish and chips.
00:12:19.700 --> 00:12:22.340
And we also have fish only platters. For those
00:12:22.340 --> 00:12:23.700
people that just want to order fish and then
00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:25.279
you can order your own size. So they made it
00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:27.279
easier. To me, that makes more sense because
00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:29.720
not everyone likes French fries. I get that.
00:12:29.860 --> 00:12:32.059
All right. Right. In the original plan, if they
00:12:32.059 --> 00:12:34.620
had just done that, if they had just said, hey,
00:12:34.740 --> 00:12:36.559
if you don't want the fish and chips, you can
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:38.039
just order a fish platter and then order your
00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:41.759
own size. And here's another idea. And I'm taking
00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:45.539
this out of the Chick -fil -A playbook. How about,
00:12:45.740 --> 00:12:50.779
I don't know. Train your fucking employees. Because
00:12:50.779 --> 00:12:52.559
here's the thing. If you've ever worked at a
00:12:52.559 --> 00:12:56.120
restaurant, most of the time, there's a briefing.
00:12:56.860 --> 00:12:59.019
Like, hey, these are the specials for today.
00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:01.240
You know how I know? Because every fucking restaurant
00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:03.000
I ever go into, they say, would you like me to
00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.659
read the specials? Yeah. Well, we have fish and
00:13:05.659 --> 00:13:10.419
chips. Does that come with chips? My brain just
00:13:10.419 --> 00:13:12.299
thought of another one. Yeah, I'd like to get
00:13:12.299 --> 00:13:14.440
the meat lovers pizza and they bring it out as
00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:16.019
a cheese pizza and you go, where's the meat?
00:13:16.059 --> 00:13:18.080
They go, what specific meat did you want on it?
00:13:18.139 --> 00:13:20.740
You just said meat lovers. Well, you're a meat
00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:23.419
lover, but you ordered the cheese pizza by virtue
00:13:23.419 --> 00:13:28.820
of that statement. Be like, oh, meat lover just
00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:31.320
means like you love meat and we're giving you
00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:37.129
a cheese pizza. The logic. I fear we as a society
00:13:37.129 --> 00:13:40.389
are just... That we're not wrong, Jake? No, what's
00:13:40.389 --> 00:13:41.990
fucked up right now is now I want motherfucking
00:13:41.990 --> 00:13:44.370
fish and chips. I'm fucking hungry. I ain't mad
00:13:44.370 --> 00:13:48.029
at you. I'm not mad at you. I'd like the fish
00:13:48.029 --> 00:13:49.409
and chips.