Chuckin' Chairs At Chief's

WEBVTT

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I don't know how I feel about you with eyeliner.

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Well, that's more of a... This has been the last

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three days I've been sneezing like a motherfucker.

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Gotta love dicks. I fucking hate dicks. I beg

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to differ, Sister Sue. The store. Thanks for

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the clarification. That is a loud pussy right

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there. Shut up, Netto! Shut your f***ing mouth!

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Get out of here! At least I can hit the hole

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without pissing my nuts. Alright, everybody cool

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with that? I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This

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is the Don. And you're listening to What The

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F***? Welcome to... What the Fuck, the podcast

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where we say all the things you're thinking.

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But probably shouldn't. No, you really shouldn't.

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Fucking hell no. A couple years ago when Morgan

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Wallen decided to throw a barstool off the third

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floor of Chiefs, and that's come and gone. He

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went to court. He got it reduced to misdemeanor,

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reckless endangerment, instead of two counts

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of felony, reckless endangerment, blah, blah,

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blah. During that whole time, though, Metro Nashville

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Police refused to release the arrest footage.

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Well, it's been released. Oh, goody. Is he pulling

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a do you know who I am bullshit? Some of that,

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yeah. What kicks it off is he's already outside

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of the bar. Staff said, you can't be throwing

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shit off the roof. And he's like, I didn't do

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it. Then staff says, well, we're going to review

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the footage. All of a sudden, I didn't do it

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turned into, well, we're going to leave anyway.

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We're leaving. So he's got two bodyguards with

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him. And these bodyguards are like, there's nothing

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to see here. Nobody saw nothing. It was like

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a mafioso. Oh, like, yeah, OK. Nobody saw nothing.

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Whatever, dickhead. Shut the fuck up. So the

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cops show up. Some of the cops are like, that's

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Morgan Wallen. And one cop goes, who? Gotta love

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that. Right? Take him down a peg or two. Then,

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of course, there's idiot tourists that are walking

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up and down Broadway, right? And this one chick,

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is that Morgan Wallen? The cop's like, you need

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to back up. Is that Morgan Wallen? And drunk,

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like, I need to know if that's Morgan Wallen

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or not. Because at this time, he had cut his

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hair. I have the right to know. The cops review

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the footage, and they're like. That's him throwing

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the fucking chair off. This was day three of

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this bar being open for Eric Church. It was his

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bar, Chiefs. Morgan calls Eric Church on the

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phone, gets Eric Church on the phone, hands the

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cop the phone so the cop can talk to Eric Church.

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And the cop's like, I'm sorry. I don't know why

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I'm talking to you. We're doing an investigation

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here. I'm sure at that point, Eric was like.

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Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Why? Why would

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you do this at my establishment? Why would you

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throw my chairs off the fucking deck? They finally

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get this motherfucker in the cop car, and I guess

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the cop had the radio playing, and Morgan's like,

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oh, that's my song. And the cop's like, yeah,

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this is a playlist of you and somebody else.

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So the cop taking him to the jail is a Morgan

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Wallen fan. They get in there, and one of the

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intake gals goes, I don't know if you remember

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me, but the last time you were here, you were

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drunk off your ass. And she goes, I remember

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telling you when you came here the last time

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you got arrested that the 90s called. They want

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their hair back. She was like. fucking giving

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it to him, right? And he was taking it back like

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this chick was talking to him like this, right?

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Like maybe you should stop being a drunken idiot

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that gets arrested all the time, Morgan fucking

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Wallen. While this was awaiting a resolution,

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he was opening up his own bar on Broadway or

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somewhere else. I forget where it is. It's on

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Broadway. But he... Is it called Throwing Chairs?

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Chair Throwing motherfucking Morgan Wallen. He's

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got a rooftop, so you can go over there and throw

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chairs off. It's pretty easy. I think Eric Church

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should go over there and just be like, an eye

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for an eye, bitch. Yeah. So he told the cop this.

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Hey, I'm opening up my own bar. And the cop was

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like, yeah, yeah, we heard. Morgan says the quiet

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part out loud. He's like, well, they're just

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using my name. It's just for advertising and

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licensing and stuff like that. He's like, it's

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not really my bar. It just has my name on it.

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Really? While this was awaiting the resolution

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of it, Morgan Wallen wanted to put up a neon

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sign. for his bar. So Metro, the city council

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said, now you're not putting up that sign until

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whatever the outcome is. So then Morgan Wallen's

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mom gets involved. Oh, Metro Nashville is just

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being assholes. He hasn't been convicted yet.

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Honey, you're an enabler. Bottom line is I still

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don't like Morgan Wallen. I tried listening to

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some of his songs and even critical listening.

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I can only take about 47 seconds of his bullshit.

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So I don't listen to Morgan Wall. I'm not, I

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don't get it. I don't understand. I don't like

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his. But it's not for me to understand. Obviously,

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he appeals to some people, but yeah. But not

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me people. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm not a big

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Morgan Wallen fan. I'm not a fan of any fucking,

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any person that thinks they're above the law.

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Any one of us would do that. We'd still be in

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jail, and this happened like two years ago that

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he did this. I don't like that. Celebrities shouldn't

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get facial treatment. You know, as much time

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as we've spent downtown, it was our beloved Broadway.

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Watch these great musicians, these great bands

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play, some up -and -comers, seeing some folks,

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some A -listers out there, and it's turned into

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a shit show. It's a shithole. Inside Chiefs,

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they used to have like a little plaque of where

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it happened, like this is where the chair incident

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happened. They ended up taking it out because

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tourists were coming in there and just they wanted

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to see where Morgan Wallen threw the chair off

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the balcony. Who the fuck cares? Oh, my God.

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I think the only reason why they were going after

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him so hard was because the cops were already

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there. They were just patrolling. They were walking

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up and down Broadway. And when that chair came

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down, it landed like six feet away from one of

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the cops. That would have been a boom. It was

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like an explosion. And so the cops were like,

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what the fuck was that? So they walked over to

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Chiefs. And then that's when the staff. was telling

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Morgan Wallen, hey, we're going to review the,

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why are you throwing chairs off? We're going

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to review the footage. And they're like, oh,

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we're going to leave anyway. And that's when

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the video starts. I still don't understand why

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he threw the chair. He's a fucking asshole, man.

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You ain't Waylon Jennings, motherfucker. Yeah,

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you look at this dude and you're like, are you

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trying to be outlaw country? You ain't. Yeah,

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you're not outlaw. He looks like a little fucking

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dweeb with a fucking 70s porn mustache. Oh, nice.

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Just saying. He's what douchebags are made of.

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Morgan, if you listen to this and you want to

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come on this show and explain your shenanigans,

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let us know, bro -ham. My what the fuck. Has

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to do with my child, of course, as always. This

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past week, she went to go hang out with a friend,

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and I was under the impression it was going to

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be a group of friends. Twas not. Twas just a

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boy. Oh. So when a girl says, I'm going to hang

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out with a friend, that's generic for, it's a

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guy. Well, she said it was a group of friends,

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and then I only saw one person, and it was like,

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oh, we're all meeting up later, and I'm like,

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I know you're fucking lying to me right now,

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but whatever. So I go to pick her up after I

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went, and I did stuff around town, did some shopping,

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and returned some Amazon stuff, whatever, booped

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around town. I go to pick her up, and... He's

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walking her back over because they were at the

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library most of the time hanging out because

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he lives by the library. So they kind of went

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back and forth between like, I guess, his apartment

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that he lives at with his family and the library.

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And they're walking towards my car and I can

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already tell something seems weird. And then

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he beelines it for my side of the car to talk

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to me as she's getting in the car. She's got

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her hood up. I'm sure you can figure out where

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this is going. Really? So. he comes up he goes

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oh i just i just want to let you know we've been

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like running around uh playing football and stuff

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like that so she she might be a little tired

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and a little dizzy so i look over at her and

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she finally makes eye contact with me high as

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a fucking kite and i said as soon as this boy

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walked away i said how much did you smoke and

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she's like i don't know what are you talking

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i don't know what you're talking about i didn't

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smoke anything and i was like how much did you

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smoke you forget who i grew up with child a brother

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who smoked and a bunch of friends that used to

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always smoke and i did not partake but i would

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be around them while they were doing it uh how

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much i didn't i didn't smoke anything i ate an

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edible and i was like okay same thing cool so

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you didn't smoke it you ingested and i'm like

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and how many milligrams was it and she's like

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i don't know like 250 i was like you holy shit

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you would be I said, you would be fucking dead

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right now. It was not 250. I said, maybe 25.

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20, yeah, 25. 25, not 250, babe. 25 would still

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put you on your ass. That would fucking kill

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me. That would put a grown man out. So I was

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like, it was not 250. And she was like, I knew

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you were going to know. I was like, so then why

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the fuck did you even try to hide it from me?

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Why would you even do it in the first place if

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you knew I was going to know? What the fuck?

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That was said multiple times. That was said multiple

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times. I was like, what the fuck were you thinking?

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Oh, that's going to be saved. What the fuck?

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So, and then she's like, I don't really, I don't

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like it though. Like, I have such a headache

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and I'm so hungry and my mouth is so dry. And

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I said, aw, really? Welcome to fucking reality.

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Did you buy her some Cheetos or some white cheddar

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cheese at Taco Bell? No, I took her to fucking

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Bojangles. Nice! Because that's what she wanted.

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Mrs. Clark loves Bojangles, by the way. I said,

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I find this funny. She was like, I thought you

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were going to be really pissed off. I said, I'm

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not pissed off. I'm disappointed that you did

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it. I'm disappointed, yes. I said, I find it

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hilarious. I said, but the sobering reality is,

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too, you didn't know this boy that well before

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hanging out with him today. And, like, especially

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not well enough to take. I was like, he could

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have, for all you know, these could have been

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laced with something, fentanyl or any, literally

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anything. Nowadays, like it could have been laced.

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You don't know him well enough to not know that

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he wasn't trying to pull some bullshit with you.

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So then we go to the library yesterday because

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I had to print out some paperwork for her to

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be able to do swim team. And he because lives

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right behind. She had texted and said, hey, we're

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going to be over there if you want to pop over

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and say hi. Well, my mom's like printing stuff

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out. So his I don't know if this was like his

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way of trying to like make nice because she obviously

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told him like my mom knew the second I looked

00:10:01.529 --> 00:10:03.889
at her like that you gave me like weed gummies.

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He decided to give me a coupon for Golden Corral.

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And I was like, yeah. That'll do it. What the

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fuck? What the fuck? I was like, we don't normally

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eat here, but thank you. And I was in the middle

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of talking to the librarian because I was trying

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to get signed up to get on the computer. And

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she even looked at me like, what the fuck was

00:10:25.980 --> 00:10:27.679
that? Well, you do have a pretty righteous salad

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bar. I'm just saying. I haven't eaten at Golden

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Corral. Honestly, I don't think ever. But the

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poor librarian's looking at me like. do you know

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that kid? And I was like, yeah, I know who he

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is. And she was like, oh, okay, I thought it

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was just a random kid coming up to you giving

00:10:42.370 --> 00:10:45.950
you a coupon. I said, no. No, but he was a random

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kid that gave my fucking 14 -year -old fucking

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weed gummy. 15 -year -old, but still, yeah. I

00:10:52.090 --> 00:10:55.110
was like, and so I was like. How old is the young

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man? I think he's a grade older than her, so

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sophomore. Okay. Like 15 or 16 himself. Okay,

00:11:01.789 --> 00:11:05.259
so he's not 20 -ish. No, no, no, no. She knows

00:11:05.259 --> 00:11:10.360
him through school. Okay. Gotcha. I was like,

00:11:10.399 --> 00:11:13.759
you will not be hanging out with him again. He's

00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.659
a sneaky little fucker. So I had some douche

00:11:16.659 --> 00:11:21.419
nozzle from California. This dumb fucking, and

00:11:21.419 --> 00:11:26.820
I judge. Don Road Rage Clark. Yes, me. So she

00:11:26.820 --> 00:11:29.720
had a California plate, so naturally. I'm going

00:11:29.720 --> 00:11:31.679
to have a blast with this one. So I bought a

00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:33.820
new 4Runner because I needed one. The other one

00:11:33.820 --> 00:11:35.519
was a year old already. Of course. I'm driving

00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:37.799
this thing down the road, and it drives itself,

00:11:37.899 --> 00:11:40.080
by the way. And so I'm just minding my own fucking

00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:42.159
business. I'm listening to some Heronation on

00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:46.360
the big, giant fucking Slayer. Matter of fact,

00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:50.879
the greatest band of all time, Slayer! So we're

00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:53.740
going down I -95, up I -95, north towards St.

00:11:53.879 --> 00:11:55.559
Augustine from Daytona. And this bitch tries

00:11:55.559 --> 00:11:57.759
to run me. She does not want me anywhere near

00:11:57.759 --> 00:12:00.039
her, apparently. I'm offensive to her because

00:12:00.039 --> 00:12:03.080
I had all the military. I got a bumper sticker

00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.139
on my thing. It says, Grumpy Old Vet, I do what

00:12:05.139 --> 00:12:07.840
I want. So go fuck yourself. That's me. And then

00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:10.100
I had, like, LSU. You know, I got some little

00:12:10.100 --> 00:12:12.799
things. And then my combat vet's scully on there

00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:16.679
with 20 -2 chapter, all this shit. In any case.

00:12:17.149 --> 00:12:19.590
Yeah, this bitch, I mean, I just bought this

00:12:19.590 --> 00:12:21.970
fucking thing. I'm just waiting for somebody

00:12:21.970 --> 00:12:24.330
to run me over, and here she was. She was about

00:12:24.330 --> 00:12:28.289
to oblige me. But it just seemed like her nature.

00:12:28.370 --> 00:12:30.110
She didn't look at me with the I hate you look

00:12:30.110 --> 00:12:33.330
or any of that shit. Her little girlfriend in

00:12:33.330 --> 00:12:35.649
the right seat never took her eyes off the fucking

00:12:35.649 --> 00:12:39.590
phone. The tunnel vision is severe with some

00:12:39.590 --> 00:12:43.169
people. I mean, literally crossed into my lane.

00:12:43.710 --> 00:12:45.470
And this thing's got cameras all around it, so

00:12:45.470 --> 00:12:49.190
the camera's corrected, and it drives itself.

00:12:49.429 --> 00:12:51.110
But I was just like, you've got to be fucking

00:12:51.110 --> 00:12:54.149
shitting me. Wow. The only time I drive like

00:12:54.149 --> 00:12:57.570
an asshole, if I were to do that, and I'm not

00:12:57.570 --> 00:12:59.110
opposed to it, is when I'm on my motorcycle.

00:12:59.470 --> 00:13:01.389
He's like, if I were to drive like an asshole.

00:13:01.389 --> 00:13:03.250
And my time is not more important than anybody

00:13:03.250 --> 00:13:05.029
else's. I hate that. What I'm trying to do is

00:13:05.029 --> 00:13:07.990
get away from you in your cage, because the biggest

00:13:07.990 --> 00:13:09.850
excuse is what? When somebody gets run over?

00:13:10.210 --> 00:13:12.470
You were in my blind spot. Yeah, we didn't see

00:13:12.470 --> 00:13:14.860
him. So I just try to get away from people. I'm

00:13:14.860 --> 00:13:17.279
not in a big hurry. I always leave. I'm the first

00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:19.179
guy at the shop every morning because I leave

00:13:19.179 --> 00:13:21.840
early as fuck. And I'm the last guy that leaves.

00:13:21.899 --> 00:13:24.500
I'm not in a hurry to get home in any case. Just

00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:27.600
so we're clear and just so the audience, we can

00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:30.200
get caught up. What is the left lane for? The

00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:33.879
left lane is for crime, motherfuckers! Woo! Yeah,

00:13:34.519 --> 00:13:36.779
left lane's for crime. Now, she was committing

00:13:36.779 --> 00:13:39.200
a crime. Not a lot of you. But I wasn't even

00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:43.029
in the left lane. I was in the center lane. where

00:13:43.029 --> 00:13:45.769
crime is optional. Yeah, it's optional. Crime

00:13:45.769 --> 00:13:48.789
is optional. And I apparently had passed her.

00:13:49.029 --> 00:13:50.929
She saw my military shit on the back. Being from

00:13:50.929 --> 00:13:53.490
California, she could be offended. And then she

00:13:53.490 --> 00:13:55.649
went ahead and tried to run me off the road,

00:13:55.789 --> 00:13:58.950
which is fine. She would have probably, because

00:13:58.950 --> 00:14:00.889
I was not going to let her tap my new fucking

00:14:00.889 --> 00:14:03.269
forehead. I'd gone off the road first. That's

00:14:03.269 --> 00:14:04.809
an off -road. It's a fucking off -road vehicle,

00:14:04.830 --> 00:14:06.629
right? It says so right on the side of it. Off

00:14:06.629 --> 00:14:08.950
-road. Which I don't know if it is or not. You're

00:14:08.950 --> 00:14:11.700
like, I dare you. Push me into the off -road.

00:14:11.779 --> 00:14:15.039
I was built for this. Yeah, I've been training

00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:16.100
through this my whole life.