Dec. 30, 2025
Best of The Current Chaos (So Far)
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🎄 Season Three Holiday Special: Best of the Chaos (So Far) 🎄
While Sammie, Jake, and Don take a much-needed break for the holidays, we didn’t want to leave you hanging—so we stitched together a Best Of Season Three episode packed with the pure, unfiltered chaos you’ve come to expect from What The Fuck. From unhinged stories and accidental therapy sessions to moments that made us question humanity (and sobriety), this is a highlight reel of the madness so far.
Consider this our holiday gift to you while we recharge, re-caffeinate, and mentally prepare for what comes next. Enjoy the laughs, the WTF moments, and the reminder that you’re not alone in asking, “What the fuck is wrong with people?”
Have a safe, happy holiday—and don’t worry…
The wacky trio will be back after the New Year with some fresh hell. 🎙️🔥
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.560
I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This is the Don.
00:00:02.819 --> 00:00:13.359
And you're listening to What the Fuck? Which
00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:19.879
to God weren't happening. My whole life is just
00:00:19.879 --> 00:00:21.879
one big what the fuck right now. How do you say
00:00:21.879 --> 00:00:24.179
what the fuck in Spanish? In Spanish, what the
00:00:24.179 --> 00:00:27.179
fuck is? Que coño? Motherfucking Georgians. If
00:00:27.179 --> 00:00:29.140
there's a Georgia license plate, you can bet
00:00:29.140 --> 00:00:31.620
that needle dick is fucking up traffic flow.
00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:34.060
He's a fucking asshole, man. You ain't Waylon
00:00:34.060 --> 00:00:37.020
Jennings, motherfucker. Yeah, you look at this
00:00:37.020 --> 00:00:38.799
dude and you're like, he looks like a little
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:41.000
fucking dweeb with a fucking 70s porn mustache.
00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:44.679
Oh, nice. Just saying. He's what douchebags are
00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:47.420
made of. What the fuck? That was said multiple
00:00:47.420 --> 00:00:49.679
times. That was said multiple times. I was like,
00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:52.020
what the fuck were you thinking? Oh, that's going
00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:56.060
to be saved. What the fuck? And I'm so hungry
00:00:56.060 --> 00:00:59.179
and my mouth is so dry. And I said, oh, really?
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:01.899
Welcome to fucking reality. Did you buy her some
00:01:01.899 --> 00:01:04.120
Cheetos or some white cheddar cheese at Taco
00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:07.159
Bell? No, I took her to fucking Bojangles. Nice!
00:01:07.859 --> 00:01:12.000
Because that's what she wanted. What the fuck?
00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:16.159
What the fuck? I was like, I'm... So I had some
00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:20.930
douche nozzle from California. This dumb... Fucking,
00:01:20.930 --> 00:01:25.290
and I judge. Don Road Rage Clark. Yes, me. The
00:01:25.290 --> 00:01:28.290
left lane is for crime, motherfuckers. Slayer!
00:01:28.650 --> 00:01:30.709
And I don't always get what I want. Does it hurt
00:01:30.709 --> 00:01:32.469
my feelings sometimes? If I had any feelings
00:01:32.469 --> 00:01:35.349
left, yeah, it would. The Navy stole those many,
00:01:35.489 --> 00:01:38.049
many years ago. Starting around 1986. Oh, no.
00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:43.400
I just bumped my boom arm, which I never do.
00:01:43.500 --> 00:01:47.780
And these two bitches. Got it. Always fucking
00:01:47.780 --> 00:01:50.780
doing it. Whoa. Hey, Tanya, check out this shirt.
00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:55.180
Yeah. What the fuck? Definitely not a shirt I
00:01:55.180 --> 00:02:00.780
want to see my dad wearing. Only dads. This older
00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:04.640
lady walked in with dirty ass underwear around
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:08.810
her face. Oh, my God. Ew. That's kind of awesome.
00:02:09.069 --> 00:02:10.810
I could never do it because the second I see
00:02:10.810 --> 00:02:14.960
a dingleberry, I'm out. On the cusp of like,
00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:18.860
she was born in 2010. Shit, bet. Use a hoe. Bet,
00:02:18.919 --> 00:02:22.259
motherfucker. Listen, 6 '7 goes real well with
00:02:22.259 --> 00:02:26.319
your t -shirt, dad. Yeah, you're only dads. I'm
00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:30.319
a slut for a musical. You're heard. He's naked.
00:02:30.460 --> 00:02:32.360
Dick everywhere. What are you going to do there?
00:02:32.599 --> 00:02:35.300
I wonder if it was a Baconator or... Oh, motherfucker.
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.060
There ain't no spicy chicken sandwich on a walnut.
00:02:39.259 --> 00:02:41.280
I got to punch the kid in the face and I'm not
00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:44.919
going to do that. I got to knock the kid out.
00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:47.300
He's like, inevitably, you just got to knock
00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:49.659
the whole family out. You idiot. Why would you
00:02:49.659 --> 00:02:52.300
throw fire ants on your brother? What the fuck?
00:02:52.340 --> 00:02:54.340
Let them order the fish and chips. If they don't
00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:57.000
say specifically, I want it with chips, they're
00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:58.580
just going to get a plate of fish. I'm sorry.
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:02.460
Fucking what? Oh, no, you don't want my fucking
00:03:02.460 --> 00:03:04.419
opinion on this because I'm here to tell it.
00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:06.120
The journey my face has taken through this entire
00:03:06.120 --> 00:03:08.439
story has been wild. I cannot. Are you fucking
00:03:08.439 --> 00:03:10.819
kidding me right now? I cannot agree. I would
00:03:10.819 --> 00:03:14.020
be so. I cannot agree more. Sammy. Live it. You're
00:03:14.020 --> 00:03:16.719
ordering something that has literally two things
00:03:16.719 --> 00:03:19.219
in the name of the fucking dish. Yeah. You shouldn't
00:03:19.219 --> 00:03:24.240
have to, like, I, well, I, my brain is short
00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:25.960
circuiting and it's like. You're a meat lover,
00:03:26.039 --> 00:03:28.460
but you ordered the cheese pizza by virtue of
00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:33.930
that statement. Rolls the window down and fucking
00:03:33.930 --> 00:03:35.550
whips out. You hillbilly bitch.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.560
I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This is the Don.
00:00:02.819 --> 00:00:13.359
And you're listening to What the Fuck? Which
00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:19.879
to God weren't happening. My whole life is just
00:00:19.879 --> 00:00:21.879
one big what the fuck right now. How do you say
00:00:21.879 --> 00:00:24.179
what the fuck in Spanish? In Spanish, what the
00:00:24.179 --> 00:00:27.179
fuck is? Que coño? Motherfucking Georgians. If
00:00:27.179 --> 00:00:29.140
there's a Georgia license plate, you can bet
00:00:29.140 --> 00:00:31.620
that needle dick is fucking up traffic flow.
00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:34.060
He's a fucking asshole, man. You ain't Waylon
00:00:34.060 --> 00:00:37.020
Jennings, motherfucker. Yeah, you look at this
00:00:37.020 --> 00:00:38.799
dude and you're like, he looks like a little
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:41.000
fucking dweeb with a fucking 70s porn mustache.
00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:44.679
Oh, nice. Just saying. He's what douchebags are
00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:47.420
made of. What the fuck? That was said multiple
00:00:47.420 --> 00:00:49.679
times. That was said multiple times. I was like,
00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:52.020
what the fuck were you thinking? Oh, that's going
00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:56.060
to be saved. What the fuck? And I'm so hungry
00:00:56.060 --> 00:00:59.179
and my mouth is so dry. And I said, oh, really?
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:01.899
Welcome to fucking reality. Did you buy her some
00:01:01.899 --> 00:01:04.120
Cheetos or some white cheddar cheese at Taco
00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:07.159
Bell? No, I took her to fucking Bojangles. Nice!
00:01:07.859 --> 00:01:12.000
Because that's what she wanted. What the fuck?
00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:16.159
What the fuck? I was like, I'm... So I had some
00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:20.930
douche nozzle from California. This dumb... Fucking,
00:01:20.930 --> 00:01:25.290
and I judge. Don Road Rage Clark. Yes, me. The
00:01:25.290 --> 00:01:28.290
left lane is for crime, motherfuckers. Slayer!
00:01:28.650 --> 00:01:30.709
And I don't always get what I want. Does it hurt
00:01:30.709 --> 00:01:32.469
my feelings sometimes? If I had any feelings
00:01:32.469 --> 00:01:35.349
left, yeah, it would. The Navy stole those many,
00:01:35.489 --> 00:01:38.049
many years ago. Starting around 1986. Oh, no.
00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:43.400
I just bumped my boom arm, which I never do.
00:01:43.500 --> 00:01:47.780
And these two bitches. Got it. Always fucking
00:01:47.780 --> 00:01:50.780
doing it. Whoa. Hey, Tanya, check out this shirt.
00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:55.180
Yeah. What the fuck? Definitely not a shirt I
00:01:55.180 --> 00:02:00.780
want to see my dad wearing. Only dads. This older
00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:04.640
lady walked in with dirty ass underwear around
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:08.810
her face. Oh, my God. Ew. That's kind of awesome.
00:02:09.069 --> 00:02:10.810
I could never do it because the second I see
00:02:10.810 --> 00:02:14.960
a dingleberry, I'm out. On the cusp of like,
00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:18.860
she was born in 2010. Shit, bet. Use a hoe. Bet,
00:02:18.919 --> 00:02:22.259
motherfucker. Listen, 6 '7 goes real well with
00:02:22.259 --> 00:02:26.319
your t -shirt, dad. Yeah, you're only dads. I'm
00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:30.319
a slut for a musical. You're heard. He's naked.
00:02:30.460 --> 00:02:32.360
Dick everywhere. What are you going to do there?
00:02:32.599 --> 00:02:35.300
I wonder if it was a Baconator or... Oh, motherfucker.
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.060
There ain't no spicy chicken sandwich on a walnut.
00:02:39.259 --> 00:02:41.280
I got to punch the kid in the face and I'm not
00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:44.919
going to do that. I got to knock the kid out.
00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:47.300
He's like, inevitably, you just got to knock
00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:49.659
the whole family out. You idiot. Why would you
00:02:49.659 --> 00:02:52.300
throw fire ants on your brother? What the fuck?
00:02:52.340 --> 00:02:54.340
Let them order the fish and chips. If they don't
00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:57.000
say specifically, I want it with chips, they're
00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:58.580
just going to get a plate of fish. I'm sorry.
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:02.460
Fucking what? Oh, no, you don't want my fucking
00:03:02.460 --> 00:03:04.419
opinion on this because I'm here to tell it.
00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:06.120
The journey my face has taken through this entire
00:03:06.120 --> 00:03:08.439
story has been wild. I cannot. Are you fucking
00:03:08.439 --> 00:03:10.819
kidding me right now? I cannot agree. I would
00:03:10.819 --> 00:03:14.020
be so. I cannot agree more. Sammy. Live it. You're
00:03:14.020 --> 00:03:16.719
ordering something that has literally two things
00:03:16.719 --> 00:03:19.219
in the name of the fucking dish. Yeah. You shouldn't
00:03:19.219 --> 00:03:24.240
have to, like, I, well, I, my brain is short
00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:25.960
circuiting and it's like. You're a meat lover,
00:03:26.039 --> 00:03:28.460
but you ordered the cheese pizza by virtue of
00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:33.930
that statement. Rolls the window down and fucking
00:03:33.930 --> 00:03:35.550
whips out. You hillbilly bitch.