June 10, 2025
A Bad Joke By God
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Jake, Sammie, and The Don are back to ask life’s most pressing question: What the fuck?
This week, the trio unpacks the legend of Valerie the Dachshund and her wild adventures Down Under—yes, an actual sausage dog on a mission. Then it’s off the rails (as usual) as The Don reveals he’s being sued by his HOA for reasons that may or may not involve a decorative flamingo.
From there, it’s a whirlwind of everyday chaos, from accounting faux pas...botched bills from lawn care bros, rental companies, and Internet Service Providers, to the dark comedy of phishing emails, scam voicemails, and those texts from random strangers that make you question reality. Emily, Jake wants to take you up on that dinner...
This episode is a cocktail of confusion, comedy, and catharsis. Just another day in the cosmic joke that is existence.
WEBVTT
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Hey y 'all, this is Cowboy Eddie Long, and you
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are listening to What The Fu - Lil' Valerie the
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Dachshund escaped her house And was living on
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this island. And they set up cameras to try and
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like figure out where the hell she was. And she
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would pop into frame for like mere seconds and
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then disappear for like weeks at a time. And
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they're like, where the fuck is this dog? So
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like literally after 529 days, they finally caught
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this little shit and brought her back to their
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family. And now she's going on like a little
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like national tour in Australia. Nice. I'm like,
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y 'all better watch or she's going to escape
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again. So the dog for nearly two years. Mm -hmm.
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Living in the wild on this island. This dog was
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in the bush. And they had cameras up so they'd
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see her. I mean, was she living with fucking
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gorillas and kangaroos and shit or wolves? Like,
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I guess, local wild dogs and stuff. No kidding.
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Yeah. This little dachshund just beep boop. They
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said they had gotten close to her a couple times
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and tried to catch her. But if anybody has a
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dachshund, which my mother does so I can attest
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to this, they are like a bullet out of a fucking
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gun when they don't want to be caught. They are
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so fast. You would never think that they could
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be that fast. But trust me. My son has three
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of them. Yeah. They're like a bullet shot from
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a gun when they're like, you think you'll go
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catch me? Not today. Gone. You know what, Sammy?
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The dachshund was originally a hunting dog. Yeah.
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They used to hunt like badgers, right? They'd
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go down in these fucking badger holes, rabbit
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holes, whatever the fuck, and get them out, which
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I thought was pretty cool because we had dachshunds.
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And I was like, yeah, it's just a weenie dog,
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you know, some sort of bad joke by God, but it's
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not. These dudes are actually Billy Badasses.
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bad joke they're not to be fucked with they're
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adorable they're not to be fucked with yeah they're
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at any time that my dog has my mom's dog has
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gotten out uh literally i she is speed incarnate
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like how do you move so fast that is that is
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the best So yes, little shit has been returned
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home off of Kangaroo Island. I've got two things
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going on right now. So I moved into this new
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neighborhood and HOA fee. It's reasonable, right?
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But we live in a nice neighborhood and the HOA
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clearly works here and they're not assholes.
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Or at least when it comes to kind of what you
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want to do to your yard. Except they sued me.
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Because I didn't pay my HOA fee. I was like,
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well, I thought that was included when I just
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moved in. I said, what is it? But it's already
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gone to the lawyer before they even contacted
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me. What the fuck? No big deal. So I'm not going
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to pay it. They can fuck off. I mean, I'll pay
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it eventually, but I'm going to make them. It's
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probably only going to hurt me. That's one. The
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second one is Master's Lawn Care here in St.
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John's County. If you live in St. John's County,
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Florida, fuck Master's Lawn Care. Cancel them.
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Cancel the fuck out of them. I started off with
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a mom and pop, and that's who was cutting my
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grass, and they did a great job. Then this guy
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sold out to Masters Lawn Care. And Masters had
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done several acquisitions. It's Googleable. You
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can look it up. And at some point, they have
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me two payments behind, although I was on auto
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pay the whole time, and kept paying for them
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to cut the grass even after we moved out, right?
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Didn't have to do that. So they're trying to
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get me for $300. I'm not going to pay that. Their
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accounting faux pas are not my fucking problem.
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And then Invitation Homes. I've been with Invitation
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Homes where I was renting before I bought this
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house. Trying to get me for $3 ,500, $3 ,600.
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Damn, Don. That is outside of my $1 ,800 deposit.
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I'm like, motherfucker, this house is in way
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better shape with me leaving it as a facilities
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manager. I know how to keep a house and our building
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in good shape than it ever was before we got
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it. Now you took my $1 ,800. Now you're trying
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to charge me another $3 ,600 or $3 ,200, whatever
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it is. Over $3 ,000. And fees for all these different
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things. Go fuck yourself. I'm going to sue them.
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I'll take them to court for that. That's some
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bullshit. Yeah, it is. But that's how people
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think that they continue. And I already mailed
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something back to them. I took their sheet, ripped
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it up, and put on there, this is harassment.
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Next time, you're going to hear from my attorney,
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which now they have to hear from my attorney.
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Some people just say, fuck it and pay it because
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they're scared. I am not paying it. I'm not.
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I don't give a shit about that stuff. These thieving
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ass. What I'll do is I'll use my platform, though,
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to say that be careful if you're renting with
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Invitation Homes because they're a bunch of fucking
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thieves. Invitation Homes people, fuck you. You're
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a thief. Same thing with Masters Lawn Care in
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St. Johns County. Go fuck yourself. You're thieves.
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I pay my bills, right? Most people do. Some people
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don't, and I get that. But your accounting issues
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are not my problem. I have a similar AT &T story.
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Previously, I had AT &T Internet. It started
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out as AT &T U -verse, which completely sucked
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balls. upgraded to AT &T Fiber, which was really
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good, I got to say. That's what I have. I love
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it. It was super fast, never lost service. It
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was great. And then Google Fiber moved into the
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neighborhood. My street became one of the first
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streets in Nashville to have Google Fiber. So
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I signed up for it, had to obviously get rid
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of AT &T. So I called them and I said, Send me
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my last bill. What do I owe? I'm switching over.
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They tried to keep me. They did the three value
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attempts to get me to their preferred customer
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rep or whatever. And I'm like, look, I'm going
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with Google Fiber. Tell me what my final bill
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is, and I'll return whatever you need me to return.
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I'll return a box, whatever. You know, kind of
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one of those. Just tell me what I fucking owe.
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Like, what is my final bill? So they said, okay,
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here's what you owe. Fine, no problem. Paid it.
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Google Fiber came in. I've had Google Fiber ever
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since. About six months later, I get a collections
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notice from AT &T saying I fucking still owe
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them fucking money. So I called them and I told
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this person on the phone, in no way, shape or
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form are you getting, it's stupid money. It's
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like $45. I said, I'm sure you have a record
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of interactions of when I call to cancel the
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service. There should be something in there saying,
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what is my final bill? What do I owe to get rid
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of, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And I paid it. Where is this $45 coming from?
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And he couldn't come up with the correct answer
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that I needed. So I have a $45 collection from
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AT &T, and every now and then they'll call me
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or they'll send me an email. And you know what,
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AT &T, you're not getting that $45 just because
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I'm not going to fucking give it to you. You
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can do whatever the fuck you want with that.
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Don't give a fuck. Don't care. And whoever Camino...
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Jen Zaburro is at rtewtwtw2332 at gmail .com.
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You just sent me a scam email on the WTF podcast
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email account. Go fuck yourself. This invoice
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saying that your PayPal. Oh, Jesus. Already?
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The first email? Yeah, yeah. Listen, folks. Take
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that shit and fucking shove it up your ass sideways.
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Well, I mean, they're going to find the email
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addresses because. Oh, yeah. It is what it is.
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Oh, yeah. I pulled the first one up, and I opened
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the PDF. I mean, I'm not worried about my phone,
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so I opened it up, and it's like, we just charged
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$7 .99 to your PayPal account. Well, it's kind
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of funny because there was no PayPal account
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associated with that Gmail address. Right. Yeah,
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I don't get that, man. But here's the thing.
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People are, especially senior citizens. And that
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will slow down because the senior citizens, like
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I am a senior citizen almost officially, but
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guys and gals my age now have used computers,
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right? The Gen Xers. We've used computers for
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a good part of our lives. you know millennials
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you guys have always had computers you know what
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life is like without computers and of course
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the gen z and gen alphys you guys are computer
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fucking experts and so that scammy shit is going
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to really really come down down down but right
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now we still have we still have boomers and older
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that Kind of have some experience with computers,
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but don't have enough to be knowledgeable to
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know that that's a fucking scam. So I keep forgetting
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to tell you guys about this. And I really want
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to call this guy back or whoever these people
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are that are doing this. But I got this call
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March 31st. That's how long it's been since I
00:08:19.370 --> 00:08:21.310
keep on forgetting to tell you. But I got this
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call and it came from a Jersey area code. I still
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know a few people in Jersey, but I let it go
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to voicemail. Like a 609 number? 973. Hey, this
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is David from Walmart. A pre -authorized purchase
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of PlayStation 5 with special edition and Pulse
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3D headset is being ordered from your Walmart
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account for an amount of $919 .45. To cancel
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your order or to connect with one of our customer
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support representatives, please press 1. That's
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not how much a PlayStation 5 costs, but okay.
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And this scam has been going around word for
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word for a long time, like probably since the
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PS5s were unavailable for the first two years,
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right? So I've been meaning to call this guy
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back. So I want to talk to David, first of all.
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So I'm going to be that idiot. I'm going to be
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like, I need to talk to David. So get David on
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the phone. Of course, they'll probably put me
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on hold, and then I'll probably get some Pakistani
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whose name is David, because that's totally believable.
00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:18.000
And I'm going to tell him, look, I got your voicemail,
00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:21.399
but there is no problem. I did order that PS5
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with the headset. And it's here. I got it already.
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And I already got it. What's the problem? Why
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are you sending me a voicemail? I want to see
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what they say. yeah i already got it dude all
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right it's i've been fucking i've been fucking
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with it today dude all day i'm playing i've been
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playing call of duty all day every day bruh heard
00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:41.039
yeah so what's the problem or is this just a
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scam oh it's just a scam i got you okay okay
00:09:44.460 --> 00:09:48.299
yeah i get the yeah i get the hey this is tara
00:09:48.299 --> 00:09:53.259
from uh this is tara from fucking you know dickhead
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financial your eighty thousand dollar loan has
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been approved we just haven't heard from you
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like okay well here's the thing yeah i didn't
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apply for a loan i don't want your money we're
00:10:02.440 --> 00:10:04.860
good i get text messages all the time that are
00:10:04.860 --> 00:10:07.019
like oh hey blah blah blah and it like seems
00:10:07.019 --> 00:10:08.919
like it's somebody who like just text the wrong
00:10:08.919 --> 00:10:11.960
number yeah and i'm like this is dumb however
00:10:11.960 --> 00:10:14.480
i did accidentally get added to a group chat
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that did include some numbers that were like
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people that i actually like no they were moms
00:10:20.610 --> 00:10:22.730
that i had met and i think they meant to send
00:10:22.730 --> 00:10:25.269
it to a different samantha and i got included
00:10:25.269 --> 00:10:27.830
in this and they're talking about like a mom's
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weekend and it's like a whole thing and i was
00:10:31.950 --> 00:10:33.429
like i'm just not going to respond because i
00:10:33.429 --> 00:10:34.889
don't want them to be like oh my god who's this
00:10:34.889 --> 00:10:36.789
weirdo in our chat but i'm like i'm pretty sure
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they meant to send this to a different samantha
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because it's all virginia moms that i had met
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like years ago when my child was like itty bitty
00:10:45.830 --> 00:10:49.960
yeah So I was like, that's funny. Well, what's
00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:53.279
208 area code? What is that? That I do not know.
00:10:53.360 --> 00:10:57.179
I got you, dog. I got you. We're going to have
00:10:57.179 --> 00:10:59.919
some fun here. That is in, it's like Boise City,
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Idaho. Idaho, okay. Idaho. Udaho. Udaho. I'm
00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:07.799
going to say this phone number on air, and I'm
00:11:07.799 --> 00:11:11.340
not going to edit it. Whoever has the phone number
00:11:11.340 --> 00:11:16.500
208 -771 -0426, on May 7th, I got a random text.
00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:19.460
Hey, Anna, let's play golf tomorrow. Yeah, I
00:11:19.460 --> 00:11:21.639
get ones like that that are like, oh, hey, Marie,
00:11:21.860 --> 00:11:23.500
blah, blah, blah. And I'm like. Yeah, I said,
00:11:23.559 --> 00:11:26.179
wrong number. No. And then she comes back with,
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I'm Emily. Isn't this Anna? Nope, I'm Jake. Oh,
00:11:30.700 --> 00:11:32.740
my God, I'm sorry. I entered the wrong number.
00:11:32.840 --> 00:11:36.320
I hope I didn't disturb you, Jake. I said, no
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worries. They always say that. No worries, Emily.
00:11:38.220 --> 00:11:40.940
Thank you. You are a friendly person. God always
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makes people meet and come together in a mysterious
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way. If you're also near California, welcome
00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:49.320
to join us. I said, ha, I wish. I'm in Tennessee.
00:11:49.480 --> 00:11:51.700
Have fun, though. And then she finishes up with,
00:11:51.740 --> 00:11:53.639
that's great. Tennessee has always been a place
00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:55.419
I've planned to go. I've always wanted to travel
00:11:55.419 --> 00:11:57.940
to Tennessee, but my job is terrible. Maybe we
00:11:57.940 --> 00:12:00.360
can keep in touch for a long time. I'll treat
00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:02.789
you to dinner when I arrive. Yeah. I was almost
00:12:02.789 --> 00:12:04.570
tempted to take her up on the dinner. Like, OK,
00:12:04.649 --> 00:12:05.889
so when are you coming to Tennessee? I'm going
00:12:05.889 --> 00:12:07.570
to take you to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. And that's
00:12:07.570 --> 00:12:08.750
where you're going to buy me my fucking dinner,
00:12:08.830 --> 00:12:11.590
bitch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get those texts, too.
00:12:11.629 --> 00:12:13.629
And I'm like, what is the point of these? Like,
00:12:13.669 --> 00:12:15.870
what what is there other than to inconvenience
00:12:15.870 --> 00:12:18.029
me for like five minutes out of my day? Like,
00:12:18.049 --> 00:12:19.950
yeah. What was the point of this conversation?
00:12:20.210 --> 00:12:21.950
Well, I was just entertaining it long enough
00:12:21.950 --> 00:12:23.830
to see. Yeah. No, no, no. But I'm saying I've
00:12:23.830 --> 00:12:25.529
done the same thing where I've had them and they'll
00:12:25.529 --> 00:12:27.769
be like, oh, you're such a nice person. And I'm
00:12:27.769 --> 00:12:29.490
like, no, I'm not. You don't fucking know me.
00:12:29.529 --> 00:12:31.250
I could be a serial killer for all you know.
00:12:31.370 --> 00:12:34.529
Yep. Like, it just doesn't make sense because
00:12:34.529 --> 00:12:36.370
it's like they don't ever actually ask you for
00:12:36.370 --> 00:12:38.230
anything. But it's like, what was the point of
00:12:38.230 --> 00:12:40.309
you inconveniencing me and I don't get that five
00:12:40.309 --> 00:12:42.490
minutes of my life back? I'm still randomly getting
00:12:42.490 --> 00:12:43.970
the E -ZPass text messages. I haven't gotten
00:12:43.970 --> 00:12:46.009
one of those in a hot sec. They keep moving the
00:12:46.009 --> 00:12:48.250
deadline date back. Like, they keep giving me
00:12:48.250 --> 00:12:49.769
grace with that because they keep saying something
00:12:49.769 --> 00:12:52.629
bad is going to happen and nothing bad has happened.
00:12:53.190 --> 00:12:56.669
Well, I love the fact that they're on hotmail
00:12:56.669 --> 00:13:00.110
.com accounts too. Yeah. Gmail .com, like, whatever.
00:13:00.450 --> 00:13:02.919
Yeah. I got another one the other day. It was
00:13:02.919 --> 00:13:06.399
like, you know, Florida and something's, you
00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:08.240
know what they say when, and I've been in companies
00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:11.960
before where we had the fishing training. And
00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:17.620
so an A written like we write it and an A written
00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:20.019
like, you know, they're not the same thing. Right.
00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:20.720
Go fuck yourself.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.819
Hey y 'all, this is Cowboy Eddie Long, and you
00:00:02.819 --> 00:00:14.960
are listening to What The Fu - Lil' Valerie the
00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:18.719
Dachshund escaped her house And was living on
00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:21.079
this island. And they set up cameras to try and
00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:23.100
like figure out where the hell she was. And she
00:00:23.100 --> 00:00:26.260
would pop into frame for like mere seconds and
00:00:26.260 --> 00:00:28.359
then disappear for like weeks at a time. And
00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:30.839
they're like, where the fuck is this dog? So
00:00:30.839 --> 00:00:33.719
like literally after 529 days, they finally caught
00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:36.479
this little shit and brought her back to their
00:00:36.479 --> 00:00:39.100
family. And now she's going on like a little
00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:43.880
like national tour in Australia. Nice. I'm like,
00:00:43.899 --> 00:00:45.079
y 'all better watch or she's going to escape
00:00:45.079 --> 00:00:50.070
again. So the dog for nearly two years. Mm -hmm.
00:00:50.130 --> 00:00:51.890
Living in the wild on this island. This dog was
00:00:51.890 --> 00:00:54.590
in the bush. And they had cameras up so they'd
00:00:54.590 --> 00:00:56.450
see her. I mean, was she living with fucking
00:00:56.450 --> 00:01:00.170
gorillas and kangaroos and shit or wolves? Like,
00:01:00.369 --> 00:01:04.049
I guess, local wild dogs and stuff. No kidding.
00:01:04.310 --> 00:01:10.879
Yeah. This little dachshund just beep boop. They
00:01:10.879 --> 00:01:13.500
said they had gotten close to her a couple times
00:01:13.500 --> 00:01:15.819
and tried to catch her. But if anybody has a
00:01:15.819 --> 00:01:18.019
dachshund, which my mother does so I can attest
00:01:18.019 --> 00:01:20.480
to this, they are like a bullet out of a fucking
00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:22.140
gun when they don't want to be caught. They are
00:01:22.140 --> 00:01:24.500
so fast. You would never think that they could
00:01:24.500 --> 00:01:26.760
be that fast. But trust me. My son has three
00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:29.739
of them. Yeah. They're like a bullet shot from
00:01:29.739 --> 00:01:31.459
a gun when they're like, you think you'll go
00:01:31.459 --> 00:01:35.700
catch me? Not today. Gone. You know what, Sammy?
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:39.040
The dachshund was originally a hunting dog. Yeah.
00:01:40.419 --> 00:01:42.340
They used to hunt like badgers, right? They'd
00:01:42.340 --> 00:01:44.200
go down in these fucking badger holes, rabbit
00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:47.920
holes, whatever the fuck, and get them out, which
00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:50.400
I thought was pretty cool because we had dachshunds.
00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:51.819
And I was like, yeah, it's just a weenie dog,
00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:54.799
you know, some sort of bad joke by God, but it's
00:01:54.799 --> 00:01:58.019
not. These dudes are actually Billy Badasses.
00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:02.780
bad joke they're not to be fucked with they're
00:02:02.780 --> 00:02:08.460
adorable they're not to be fucked with yeah they're
00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:11.680
at any time that my dog has my mom's dog has
00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:16.060
gotten out uh literally i she is speed incarnate
00:02:16.060 --> 00:02:19.979
like how do you move so fast that is that is
00:02:19.979 --> 00:02:24.819
the best So yes, little shit has been returned
00:02:24.819 --> 00:02:27.699
home off of Kangaroo Island. I've got two things
00:02:27.699 --> 00:02:29.419
going on right now. So I moved into this new
00:02:29.419 --> 00:02:34.039
neighborhood and HOA fee. It's reasonable, right?
00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:36.500
But we live in a nice neighborhood and the HOA
00:02:36.500 --> 00:02:38.599
clearly works here and they're not assholes.
00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:41.060
Or at least when it comes to kind of what you
00:02:41.060 --> 00:02:44.439
want to do to your yard. Except they sued me.
00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:46.800
Because I didn't pay my HOA fee. I was like,
00:02:46.819 --> 00:02:48.120
well, I thought that was included when I just
00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:50.240
moved in. I said, what is it? But it's already
00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:52.000
gone to the lawyer before they even contacted
00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:54.500
me. What the fuck? No big deal. So I'm not going
00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:56.979
to pay it. They can fuck off. I mean, I'll pay
00:02:56.979 --> 00:02:58.680
it eventually, but I'm going to make them. It's
00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:00.960
probably only going to hurt me. That's one. The
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:05.639
second one is Master's Lawn Care here in St.
00:03:05.699 --> 00:03:07.819
John's County. If you live in St. John's County,
00:03:07.879 --> 00:03:10.039
Florida, fuck Master's Lawn Care. Cancel them.
00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:14.389
Cancel the fuck out of them. I started off with
00:03:14.389 --> 00:03:15.750
a mom and pop, and that's who was cutting my
00:03:15.750 --> 00:03:17.849
grass, and they did a great job. Then this guy
00:03:17.849 --> 00:03:21.629
sold out to Masters Lawn Care. And Masters had
00:03:21.629 --> 00:03:23.930
done several acquisitions. It's Googleable. You
00:03:23.930 --> 00:03:26.909
can look it up. And at some point, they have
00:03:26.909 --> 00:03:29.169
me two payments behind, although I was on auto
00:03:29.169 --> 00:03:31.449
pay the whole time, and kept paying for them
00:03:31.449 --> 00:03:33.590
to cut the grass even after we moved out, right?
00:03:33.650 --> 00:03:35.789
Didn't have to do that. So they're trying to
00:03:35.789 --> 00:03:39.270
get me for $300. I'm not going to pay that. Their
00:03:39.270 --> 00:03:41.870
accounting faux pas are not my fucking problem.
00:03:42.259 --> 00:03:45.419
And then Invitation Homes. I've been with Invitation
00:03:45.419 --> 00:03:47.159
Homes where I was renting before I bought this
00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:50.219
house. Trying to get me for $3 ,500, $3 ,600.
00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:54.460
Damn, Don. That is outside of my $1 ,800 deposit.
00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:57.180
I'm like, motherfucker, this house is in way
00:03:57.180 --> 00:04:00.439
better shape with me leaving it as a facilities
00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:02.580
manager. I know how to keep a house and our building
00:04:02.580 --> 00:04:05.080
in good shape than it ever was before we got
00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:07.460
it. Now you took my $1 ,800. Now you're trying
00:04:07.460 --> 00:04:09.719
to charge me another $3 ,600 or $3 ,200, whatever
00:04:09.719 --> 00:04:13.270
it is. Over $3 ,000. And fees for all these different
00:04:13.270 --> 00:04:15.270
things. Go fuck yourself. I'm going to sue them.
00:04:15.310 --> 00:04:16.430
I'll take them to court for that. That's some
00:04:16.430 --> 00:04:19.230
bullshit. Yeah, it is. But that's how people
00:04:19.230 --> 00:04:23.009
think that they continue. And I already mailed
00:04:23.009 --> 00:04:24.889
something back to them. I took their sheet, ripped
00:04:24.889 --> 00:04:27.129
it up, and put on there, this is harassment.
00:04:27.149 --> 00:04:28.990
Next time, you're going to hear from my attorney,
00:04:29.089 --> 00:04:30.709
which now they have to hear from my attorney.
00:04:30.970 --> 00:04:32.970
Some people just say, fuck it and pay it because
00:04:32.970 --> 00:04:34.769
they're scared. I am not paying it. I'm not.
00:04:35.189 --> 00:04:38.250
I don't give a shit about that stuff. These thieving
00:04:38.250 --> 00:04:41.500
ass. What I'll do is I'll use my platform, though,
00:04:41.620 --> 00:04:44.639
to say that be careful if you're renting with
00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:47.040
Invitation Homes because they're a bunch of fucking
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:49.660
thieves. Invitation Homes people, fuck you. You're
00:04:49.660 --> 00:04:51.819
a thief. Same thing with Masters Lawn Care in
00:04:51.819 --> 00:04:53.899
St. Johns County. Go fuck yourself. You're thieves.
00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:57.480
I pay my bills, right? Most people do. Some people
00:04:57.480 --> 00:05:00.240
don't, and I get that. But your accounting issues
00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:03.120
are not my problem. I have a similar AT &T story.
00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:05.680
Previously, I had AT &T Internet. It started
00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:08.160
out as AT &T U -verse, which completely sucked
00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:12.069
balls. upgraded to AT &T Fiber, which was really
00:05:12.069 --> 00:05:13.810
good, I got to say. That's what I have. I love
00:05:13.810 --> 00:05:16.629
it. It was super fast, never lost service. It
00:05:16.629 --> 00:05:19.029
was great. And then Google Fiber moved into the
00:05:19.029 --> 00:05:20.730
neighborhood. My street became one of the first
00:05:20.730 --> 00:05:22.769
streets in Nashville to have Google Fiber. So
00:05:22.769 --> 00:05:25.009
I signed up for it, had to obviously get rid
00:05:25.009 --> 00:05:27.750
of AT &T. So I called them and I said, Send me
00:05:27.750 --> 00:05:30.110
my last bill. What do I owe? I'm switching over.
00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:33.089
They tried to keep me. They did the three value
00:05:33.089 --> 00:05:35.889
attempts to get me to their preferred customer
00:05:35.889 --> 00:05:38.389
rep or whatever. And I'm like, look, I'm going
00:05:38.389 --> 00:05:40.410
with Google Fiber. Tell me what my final bill
00:05:40.410 --> 00:05:42.550
is, and I'll return whatever you need me to return.
00:05:42.649 --> 00:05:44.670
I'll return a box, whatever. You know, kind of
00:05:44.670 --> 00:05:46.069
one of those. Just tell me what I fucking owe.
00:05:46.189 --> 00:05:48.110
Like, what is my final bill? So they said, okay,
00:05:48.170 --> 00:05:50.269
here's what you owe. Fine, no problem. Paid it.
00:05:50.310 --> 00:05:52.810
Google Fiber came in. I've had Google Fiber ever
00:05:52.810 --> 00:05:55.410
since. About six months later, I get a collections
00:05:55.410 --> 00:05:57.470
notice from AT &T saying I fucking still owe
00:05:57.470 --> 00:06:00.730
them fucking money. So I called them and I told
00:06:00.730 --> 00:06:03.490
this person on the phone, in no way, shape or
00:06:03.490 --> 00:06:06.250
form are you getting, it's stupid money. It's
00:06:06.250 --> 00:06:09.209
like $45. I said, I'm sure you have a record
00:06:09.209 --> 00:06:11.370
of interactions of when I call to cancel the
00:06:11.370 --> 00:06:13.350
service. There should be something in there saying,
00:06:13.509 --> 00:06:16.310
what is my final bill? What do I owe to get rid
00:06:16.310 --> 00:06:17.610
of, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:06:17.910 --> 00:06:21.730
And I paid it. Where is this $45 coming from?
00:06:21.769 --> 00:06:23.790
And he couldn't come up with the correct answer
00:06:23.790 --> 00:06:26.810
that I needed. So I have a $45 collection from
00:06:26.810 --> 00:06:28.790
AT &T, and every now and then they'll call me
00:06:28.790 --> 00:06:30.910
or they'll send me an email. And you know what,
00:06:30.970 --> 00:06:33.430
AT &T, you're not getting that $45 just because
00:06:33.430 --> 00:06:35.389
I'm not going to fucking give it to you. You
00:06:35.389 --> 00:06:36.889
can do whatever the fuck you want with that.
00:06:36.970 --> 00:06:40.529
Don't give a fuck. Don't care. And whoever Camino...
00:06:40.860 --> 00:06:47.040
Jen Zaburro is at rtewtwtw2332 at gmail .com.
00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:50.279
You just sent me a scam email on the WTF podcast
00:06:50.279 --> 00:06:52.860
email account. Go fuck yourself. This invoice
00:06:52.860 --> 00:06:56.300
saying that your PayPal. Oh, Jesus. Already?
00:06:56.600 --> 00:07:00.379
The first email? Yeah, yeah. Listen, folks. Take
00:07:00.379 --> 00:07:02.699
that shit and fucking shove it up your ass sideways.
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:04.500
Well, I mean, they're going to find the email
00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:07.110
addresses because. Oh, yeah. It is what it is.
00:07:07.230 --> 00:07:10.529
Oh, yeah. I pulled the first one up, and I opened
00:07:10.529 --> 00:07:12.410
the PDF. I mean, I'm not worried about my phone,
00:07:12.449 --> 00:07:14.110
so I opened it up, and it's like, we just charged
00:07:14.110 --> 00:07:16.529
$7 .99 to your PayPal account. Well, it's kind
00:07:16.529 --> 00:07:18.129
of funny because there was no PayPal account
00:07:18.129 --> 00:07:21.149
associated with that Gmail address. Right. Yeah,
00:07:21.269 --> 00:07:23.850
I don't get that, man. But here's the thing.
00:07:24.769 --> 00:07:29.850
People are, especially senior citizens. And that
00:07:29.850 --> 00:07:34.209
will slow down because the senior citizens, like
00:07:34.209 --> 00:07:38.810
I am a senior citizen almost officially, but
00:07:38.810 --> 00:07:42.449
guys and gals my age now have used computers,
00:07:42.589 --> 00:07:45.069
right? The Gen Xers. We've used computers for
00:07:45.069 --> 00:07:48.560
a good part of our lives. you know millennials
00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:50.300
you guys have always had computers you know what
00:07:50.300 --> 00:07:52.019
life is like without computers and of course
00:07:52.019 --> 00:07:53.660
the gen z and gen alphys you guys are computer
00:07:53.660 --> 00:07:57.220
fucking experts and so that scammy shit is going
00:07:57.220 --> 00:08:00.000
to really really come down down down but right
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:03.339
now we still have we still have boomers and older
00:08:03.339 --> 00:08:06.149
that Kind of have some experience with computers,
00:08:06.350 --> 00:08:09.149
but don't have enough to be knowledgeable to
00:08:09.149 --> 00:08:11.649
know that that's a fucking scam. So I keep forgetting
00:08:11.649 --> 00:08:13.269
to tell you guys about this. And I really want
00:08:13.269 --> 00:08:15.470
to call this guy back or whoever these people
00:08:15.470 --> 00:08:16.990
are that are doing this. But I got this call
00:08:16.990 --> 00:08:19.370
March 31st. That's how long it's been since I
00:08:19.370 --> 00:08:21.310
keep on forgetting to tell you. But I got this
00:08:21.310 --> 00:08:24.910
call and it came from a Jersey area code. I still
00:08:24.910 --> 00:08:26.629
know a few people in Jersey, but I let it go
00:08:26.629 --> 00:08:32.059
to voicemail. Like a 609 number? 973. Hey, this
00:08:32.059 --> 00:08:34.440
is David from Walmart. A pre -authorized purchase
00:08:34.440 --> 00:08:37.019
of PlayStation 5 with special edition and Pulse
00:08:37.019 --> 00:08:39.059
3D headset is being ordered from your Walmart
00:08:39.059 --> 00:08:42.820
account for an amount of $919 .45. To cancel
00:08:42.820 --> 00:08:44.919
your order or to connect with one of our customer
00:08:44.919 --> 00:08:48.039
support representatives, please press 1. That's
00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:50.059
not how much a PlayStation 5 costs, but okay.
00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:53.740
And this scam has been going around word for
00:08:53.740 --> 00:08:57.240
word for a long time, like probably since the
00:08:57.240 --> 00:08:59.580
PS5s were unavailable for the first two years,
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:02.039
right? So I've been meaning to call this guy
00:09:02.039 --> 00:09:03.840
back. So I want to talk to David, first of all.
00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:05.919
So I'm going to be that idiot. I'm going to be
00:09:05.919 --> 00:09:07.860
like, I need to talk to David. So get David on
00:09:07.860 --> 00:09:10.460
the phone. Of course, they'll probably put me
00:09:10.460 --> 00:09:12.100
on hold, and then I'll probably get some Pakistani
00:09:12.100 --> 00:09:14.919
whose name is David, because that's totally believable.
00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:18.000
And I'm going to tell him, look, I got your voicemail,
00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:21.399
but there is no problem. I did order that PS5
00:09:21.399 --> 00:09:23.820
with the headset. And it's here. I got it already.
00:09:23.840 --> 00:09:25.620
And I already got it. What's the problem? Why
00:09:25.620 --> 00:09:27.080
are you sending me a voicemail? I want to see
00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:30.080
what they say. yeah i already got it dude all
00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:31.879
right it's i've been fucking i've been fucking
00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:34.059
with it today dude all day i'm playing i've been
00:09:34.059 --> 00:09:36.960
playing call of duty all day every day bruh heard
00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:41.039
yeah so what's the problem or is this just a
00:09:41.039 --> 00:09:44.460
scam oh it's just a scam i got you okay okay
00:09:44.460 --> 00:09:48.299
yeah i get the yeah i get the hey this is tara
00:09:48.299 --> 00:09:53.259
from uh this is tara from fucking you know dickhead
00:09:53.259 --> 00:09:55.799
financial your eighty thousand dollar loan has
00:09:55.799 --> 00:09:57.379
been approved we just haven't heard from you
00:09:57.379 --> 00:09:59.840
like okay well here's the thing yeah i didn't
00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:02.440
apply for a loan i don't want your money we're
00:10:02.440 --> 00:10:04.860
good i get text messages all the time that are
00:10:04.860 --> 00:10:07.019
like oh hey blah blah blah and it like seems
00:10:07.019 --> 00:10:08.919
like it's somebody who like just text the wrong
00:10:08.919 --> 00:10:11.960
number yeah and i'm like this is dumb however
00:10:11.960 --> 00:10:14.480
i did accidentally get added to a group chat
00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:17.419
that did include some numbers that were like
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people that i actually like no they were moms
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that i had met and i think they meant to send
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it to a different samantha and i got included
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in this and they're talking about like a mom's
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weekend and it's like a whole thing and i was
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like i'm just not going to respond because i
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don't want them to be like oh my god who's this
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weirdo in our chat but i'm like i'm pretty sure
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they meant to send this to a different samantha
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because it's all virginia moms that i had met
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like years ago when my child was like itty bitty
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yeah So I was like, that's funny. Well, what's
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208 area code? What is that? That I do not know.
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I got you, dog. I got you. We're going to have
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some fun here. That is in, it's like Boise City,
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Idaho. Idaho, okay. Idaho. Udaho. Udaho. I'm
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going to say this phone number on air, and I'm
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not going to edit it. Whoever has the phone number
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208 -771 -0426, on May 7th, I got a random text.
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Hey, Anna, let's play golf tomorrow. Yeah, I
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get ones like that that are like, oh, hey, Marie,
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blah, blah, blah. And I'm like. Yeah, I said,
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wrong number. No. And then she comes back with,
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I'm Emily. Isn't this Anna? Nope, I'm Jake. Oh,
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my God, I'm sorry. I entered the wrong number.
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I hope I didn't disturb you, Jake. I said, no
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worries. They always say that. No worries, Emily.
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Thank you. You are a friendly person. God always
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makes people meet and come together in a mysterious
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way. If you're also near California, welcome
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to join us. I said, ha, I wish. I'm in Tennessee.
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Have fun, though. And then she finishes up with,
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that's great. Tennessee has always been a place
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I've planned to go. I've always wanted to travel
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to Tennessee, but my job is terrible. Maybe we
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can keep in touch for a long time. I'll treat
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you to dinner when I arrive. Yeah. I was almost
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tempted to take her up on the dinner. Like, OK,
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so when are you coming to Tennessee? I'm going
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to take you to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. And that's
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where you're going to buy me my fucking dinner,
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bitch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get those texts, too.
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And I'm like, what is the point of these? Like,
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what what is there other than to inconvenience
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me for like five minutes out of my day? Like,
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yeah. What was the point of this conversation?
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Well, I was just entertaining it long enough
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to see. Yeah. No, no, no. But I'm saying I've
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done the same thing where I've had them and they'll
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be like, oh, you're such a nice person. And I'm
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like, no, I'm not. You don't fucking know me.
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I could be a serial killer for all you know.
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Yep. Like, it just doesn't make sense because
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it's like they don't ever actually ask you for
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anything. But it's like, what was the point of
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you inconveniencing me and I don't get that five
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minutes of my life back? I'm still randomly getting
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the E -ZPass text messages. I haven't gotten
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one of those in a hot sec. They keep moving the
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deadline date back. Like, they keep giving me
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grace with that because they keep saying something
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bad is going to happen and nothing bad has happened.
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Well, I love the fact that they're on hotmail
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.com accounts too. Yeah. Gmail .com, like, whatever.
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Yeah. I got another one the other day. It was
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like, you know, Florida and something's, you
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know what they say when, and I've been in companies
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before where we had the fishing training. And
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so an A written like we write it and an A written
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like, you know, they're not the same thing. Right.
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Go fuck yourself.